Motherhood comes first. No happy mom, happy baby. Wait. A good mother puts her children before herself.
Becoming a mom represents the part of my life where Mt. Vesuvius exploded and now everybody runs away from me screaming,"Oh no! She's a mom now! Mom stuff everywhere! We can't escape!" Or at least this is how I felt the majority of the time for the first year of new motherhood. No book, no class, and not even my mommy prepared me well enough for all the lava that oozed out of my brain that year. I'll admit, I don't think I am dormant yet.
Anyway, enough with the volcano destruction and onto the beauty of balancing parenthood on the already full plate of the meaty boyfriend, the weird pile of mush I like to call "school" and the week old boring broccoli of work. We all had lives before we had children, lives some of us were content with. I never once thought to ask a two-year-old if I could use the restroom before relieving my aching bladder; until I became a mom of course.
I'm not even going to say, "The trick is..." because really there is no one trick in my opinion. Parenthood is about 30% instinct, 30% improvisation, and 40% I don't know what the hell I'm doing. We all have our own tricks up our sleeve and tips to pass down to our fellow friends. I think we all remember that deer stuck in the headlights mask we wore for the first six months. It's tough, and I love challenging adventures. It's even harder when you have a full-time job, school, and all the other responsibilities life likes to bestow upon us.
You're constantly going to think you're doing something wrong, and laugh at yourself when you praise yourself for only changing your shirt once a day. The little things do count, tremendously more than we might think. It's so important to continue to set goals for your children and yourself. Don't get lost in the hustle and bustle of it all and remember you are a person too, and by golly you deserve a glass of wine on occasion! A movie night with the lover may seem more necessary than usual, and don't feel bad about it either.
I have found that it really does take a village to raise a child. That doesn't mean that you're pawning your child off on other people, or you're neglecting them to make money, do schoolwork, etc. It's good for children to learn from other people's perspectives. We as adults also need our alone time in order to stay sane. So do things that are both beneficial to baby and mommy, or daddy. Include your friends too! Sticking together and being supportive makes life a whole lot smoother and more fun as well.
