It seems like we can’t go a single day without some article about how feminism is dead. There are a variety of reasons people will declare this, most of them stemming from the fact that they don’t like feminism or feel threatened by it.

To clarify: Feminism isn’t dead.

But somewhere between failing to pass the Equal Rights Amendment and the election of the pussy-grabber in chief, it was ruined. More accurately, we ruined it. Modern feminism is a failure for all women, and should you fall into any minority category, it’s an extra failure for you. Speaking from personal experience, here are all the ways it’s failed me (and probably a few other people).

Modern feminism has failed me by failing to support gender nonconformity, or, in fact, failing to support anything that isn’t hyper-femininity. I’m told that buying clothes, purchasing makeup, and spending God knows how many hours carefully combining and applying these items, will make me empowered. That it will somehow make up for the fact that women are paid, on average, 20 cents less than men for the same work. The 20-cents-less figure is only for white women, by the way – for nonwhite women, it’s even worse. I’m already making less money, but in order to find empowerment and fulfillment as a woman, modern feminism demands that I give up time and money that could be applied elsewhere and devote them to the practice of femininity. Modern feminism fails me by claiming that my comfortable clothes and lack of makeup are signs of self-esteem issues, rather than recognizing them for what they are – a sign that I care more about how I feel about myself than what other people think.

Modern feminism is consumed with worrying about what other people think

, to the point that it suppresses the truth if its adherents believe the truth will be unpopular. Modern feminism claims, “I’m not one of those hairy, man-hating feminists,” alienating lesbians and gender-nonconforming women of all orientations in a single hideous sentence. Modern feminism claims that porn is feminist, that anal sex is feminist, that anything can be feminist if it’s what you want – or what you feel like you should want – to do. Modern feminism is built on an ancient idea, one that women have dealt with for centuries: It’s more important to be liked than to be right.

Modern feminism demands that I reject my Jewish heritage in order to participate

. The exclusion of Jewish women from the Chicago Dyke March proved what Jewish women have known for a while – that there’s no place for Jewish women in social justice activism. And when the Chicago SlutWalk backed the Dyke March’s position, they sent a message to Jewish women from modern feminism: We don’t want you here. My Jewish identity informs my experience as a woman. There are experiences faced by Jewish women that are unique to us, stereotypes that we must shoulder alone. We need feminism as much as any other minority group. Modern feminism says we don’t belong.

I am Jewish. I am not feminine. I am not heterosexual. I am, on occasion, hairy. If modern feminism wants to claim that it’s for all women, it needs to make a place for me in all my hairy, nonfeminine, not-straight, Jewish womanhood. It needs to make a place for everyone who doesn’t fit the neat boxes modern feminism has laid out.

Until then, it will be a hopeless failure.