I don’t like missing class.
I know there’s probably a lot of people who do, but it just means you get behind and you miss stuff that might be on the exam and I just feel guilty. So as a general rule, I don’t do it a lot unless I feel the class is completely unnecessary, and even then I still feel pretty awful about it. So imagine how I felt when I had to miss class last Thursday because I woke up and I couldn’t even move.
I wasn’t physically ill. I didn’t have a fever. I didn’t even have a cold. But my brain was hurting, and I literally could not find the strength to get out of bed. So I lay there.
I knew there was no way I could go to class. But Duke’s STINF (short term illness notification form) system is only appropriate for “incapacitating illness”. In their description of the STINF, they say “Appropriate uses of the STINF might include such conditions as influenza, migraine, sinus infection, and strep throat.”
I looked at this list, and I didn’t have any of these. I wondered what I was supposed to do. I decided to go by their guidelines and determine that for me, the illness was truly incapacitating. But I know that some people will see that list and be intimidated and, like me, feel as though their illness is not valid enough to be able to miss class. Like me, they’ll feel guilty. Like me, they’ll feel weak.
I know at Duke, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) has been working to change our STINF to explicitly include mental illness reasons. And that’s definitely a cause I can get behind. It might seem like a small thing, but when you’re incapacitated like that due to a mental illness, classes and work can seem so daunting. It’s important to know that there’s a way out if necessary.
Other places, though, might not have the same progressive policies. Many places won’t allow you to miss class or work for mental illness purposes, and this leads to people having to lie, feel guilty, or just go to work when their brain feels like it’s tearing itself apart. I hope that soon these policies will change.
But until then, know that it’s okay if you need to take a day off every once in a while for mental health reasons. Even if you don’t have a mental illness, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, it’s okay to stay in and relax for a little bit. Mental health is so important. Nothing – no grade, no paycheck, nothing – is worth your mental health.
And let’s continue to support those with illnesses. Because I hope that someday soon, I won’t feel the need to tell professors or STINF forms that I was ‘physically ill’. I hope that I’ll be able to say “my depression was acting up”, and they’ll understand.
And I hope that everyone else will be able to, too.
