I Miss My Family More Than Ever

As my first semester at a transfer at Stony Brook has been completed. I realized how home-sick I have become. I thought I would be fine living away from home since I was such an independent working person. I didn't realize how much I would miss my loved ones while actually living away from them.

I've always been conscious of how thankful I was of my family and friends, in the smallest ways I knew they took care of me. My friends would always bring me up whenever I was having a stressful day, reminding me of all my accomplishments and telling me I can pull through even when I was so worn down physically and mentally. My friends would bring me pick-me-ups randomly, like coffee or lunch while I was working at my current college. During the day, my friends would give me free coffee while they were working using their employee code and after I come back from my day we would spend time together after their shift to just relax, talk, and bond with one another.

My family would always save me something they cooked even if they knew I didn't like the meal sometimes when I would come home at 11pm-12am at night. My parents would call me throughout the day out of concern and care (which would annoy me because when I have no time when I'm traveling three or four times a day between classes and jobs, and at the same time trying to study on a packed NYC train) But it was still a nice reminder that someone is thinking of me throughout the day.

For transfers, it's much tougher (in my opinion) than a freshman to adjust to a school. When you start college one way for a year or two then go away to a dorm, it's like BAM. No family, no friends, no one close to you that you can go to, no positive support, no one know's what you're doing or if you even ate that day. One starts to feels left out, or ex-communicated. As a freshman, everyone comes in at the same time, mingles around find their groups of friends, go out do the whole college experience together, find themselves, the works you know? Coming in as a transfer, everyone already has their groups and they stick with who they know. Which is normal, however even if I have my close group of persons at home or at school, I am a social butterfly that loves talking to new people and getting to know others. I'm welcoming, friendly, open, and social. However, not everyone is like that, for whatever reason and that's okay too. I can't expect people to be a certain way, I can only accept them and respect them for who they are, even if sometimes you don't come across the best people.

It gets lonely, not being around the genuine caring and loving people I made connections with. I am capable of finding new friends but it is difficult to find others with the same values and mindset as yourself. So far, I keep in connection with my old roommates when I was in a triple. I moved out for financial reasons to a cooking building so I do not have to pay for a meal plan next semester because I pay for everything myself. I made a new friend whom we've built a bond and now I am moving into her suite in the spring, which defeats the purpose of me de-tripling in the first place because now I have a meal plan to pay for (which I still don't know how to pay for). However due to my personality, my ability to do well in school, and my strong value for genuine friendships and community. I will be moving even if the cost is high because I am already in debt with loans I took out. I have faith in the future and I know that as long as I focus on doing well in school for the next three semesters. I will soon be able to work full time and pay off my loans. Till then, I need to remember my friends and family in my heart every day and try to remember the good days to keep me going. It's hard to pretend that they're there but I just need to make the best of it and be open to what opportunities I have ahead of me.

<3 Namaste, God bless for the future. Amen <3