I have been in therapy on and off since I was 14. I have jumped from therapist to therapist. I will openly admit that my experiences with these therapist were not all pleasant, but I have learned that sometimes it's about finding the right fit, someone you click with.
I talk very openly about the fact that I see a therapist. My friends and family are mostly supportive, but they, along with the general population, still ask questions or make comments that remind me that going to therapy is not as acceptable as I would hope. I know my loved ones mean well, but you can see a change in people's eyes when you first tell them you see a therapist. It's almost as if their eyes say, "You go to therapy?" "What is wrong with you?" "Are you like clinically crazy?"
In observation of the final days of Mental Health Awareness Month, I decided to tackle some of these common misconceptions and disprove them.
1. People who go to therapy are weak.
Seeking help has been one of the bravest things I have ever done. It's a lot easier to sit at home and wallow in these bad feelings, trust me, but stepping up to the plate and admitting that I needed more help than what I could give myself was life changing in the best way possible. It requires tons of strength; sometimes even talking about things are difficult, but therapy is more than talking. It's exploring the feelings that you are having and trying to make sense of them. It's finally opening up about things you haven't wanted to deal with for years. It's brave, and it takes massive amounts of strength to do. Weak? It's the opposite.
2. Only people who are mentally ill go to therapy.
Ever gone to the doctor when you aren't sick? Maybe you wanted advice or a check-up? In that same sense, you can go to a therapist and not be diagnosed with a mental illness. Good therapists listen to us without judgment and teach us how to solve problems in a healthy way and to live a happier life. This is something all of us want. I should mention that therapists can only bill insurance companies once they diagnose someone or have a pre-existing diagnosis, but not all therapists need to use health insurance.
3. A therapist is a paid friend.
If you listen closely, regardless of where you are now, you can hear me letting out this high-pitched scream. I like my therapist a lot, don't doubt that, but she isn't my friend. I go to her office maybe once a week, and we talk about what's going on with me. It's very one-sided. I leave her office, and, if need be, I shoot her a text or an email during the week, but that's it. I am not paying anyone to be my friend (who can afford that?).
4. If you are on medicine why do you need therapy?
This can also be asked in reverse. If you're in therapy, why do you need medicine? And the truth of the matter is they commonly work hand in hand; sometimes one is enough, sometimes all you need is a good therapy session or some Cymbalta when you wake up. But in my case, I need both. I need medicine, but I also benefit from talk therapy. While some people can be OK with just one, there is nothing wrong with both.
5. If you go to therapist, it's because no one else supports you.
While this might apply to some people, it doesn't apply to everyone. Talking to a friend or a family member will never compare to a therapist who is trained to help people. It's also super helpful that a therapist isn't directly involved in your life. You don't live with your therapist,; you don't see them at school on a daily basis. It's like they are an outside person who only knows what you tell them, thus making them unbiased and more logical than, say, your best friend.
These are just a few things I have heard and people have asked me. To put it in very simple terms, there is nothing wrong with going to therapy! There are so many benefits, whether you are depressed or you are moving to a new town and having a hard time. If you are considering therapy, please look into it. Most of the time health insurance covers it, and if they don't, a lot of therapists have sliding scale fees, and they figure out what you can afford.
It's worth it.
