The progression girls tend to go through with regard to feelings toward their mothers is quite comical, actually. As a baby, we are almost entirely reliant on our mothers for everything we need. The only thing we really know how to do on our own is breath, sleep, and cry.
As toddlers, we might explore outside of our mother’s embrace, but not for long. After falling flat on our butts after trying to walk, Mom comes over to pick us up and give us a “great try” kiss and cuddle.
Once we become adolescents, we rely less on our mothers, looking for some independence, but we still need her for most daily functions. We can’t stay home alone without her, we can’t make much more than a PB&J sandwich (and even that could be a challenge), and we ask her to help us pick out our clothes.
It’s not until the teen years that we start to think our mom’s aren’t as great as they once seemed to be. This stage has many degrees and not everyone experiences it the same way; some girls defy against their mothers in small ways, and others in large ways. But there is typically always some kind of tension between a mother and child while going through middle and high school.
It is not until we reach somewhere between ages 18 and 25 where were encounter an epiphany. All of a sudden, we are making decisions our mothers would make or are starting to think like her. You might say something out loud to a friend and have a little alarm go off in your head. Your eyes widen and your mouth turns into a small “o,” and that’s when you realize it.
You are turning into your mother.
It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just something you might not have thought would ever happen. I know with myself, I promised that I wouldn’t turn into a neat freak like my mom, worrying if guests would notice the few specs of dust on the dresser or the crumbs on the carpet from an afternoon snack. However, I proved myself completely wrong. I religiously clean my dorm room every week and make sure that when I’m having new friends over that it looks in tip-top shape.
My mother’s ideas and philosophies often creep into my head as well. Her preferences suddenly become my preferences because, quite frankly, I don’t know any better. I plan out my day the same way my mother would, my advice to friends is the same my mother once gave me, and my choices align with those that my mother would choose.
At the end of the day, this transition is completely normal. Becoming your mother isn’t something that you should be afraid of, but embrace. Every mother has wonderful qualities, and those are the ones you should try to emulate. Either way, you’ll probably inherit a little of the good and a little of the bad, but just think: would life really be as exciting without more people like your mother?
