I Asked 108 Millennials If They Owned A Can Opener And The Results Were... Fishy
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I Asked 108 Millennials If They Owned A Can Opener And The Results Were... Fishy

Apparently this is another industry millennials are responsible for killing.

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I Asked 108 Millennials If They Owned A Can Opener And The Results Were... Fishy

Actually, the results are only shocking if you're big tuna company StarKist's Vice President of Marketing and Innovation Andy Mecs.

In a recent Wall Street Journal article, Mecs was recently cited directly blaming millennials for the decline in canned tuna sales. In this claim, his reasoning was that "a lot of millennials don't even own can openers." We can finally add canned tuna to the extensive list of businesses that millennials are responsible for ruining.



So naturally, I asked 108 millennials if they owned a can opener. Now, I'd hate to break it to Mecs, but he's in for a rude awakening.

Out of the 108, only 13% claimed to not own a can opener. Only 13% of millennials are stuck with pull-open tabs on cans. SO how can we really be ruining this industry? Are they sure it's not just the fact that canned tuna is the worst?

I think so.

The 94 millennials who owned can openers are just peacefully watching big tuna executives try to pass the blame. Saying "People don't eat tuna anymore because they don't own can openers" is probably the oldest old person thing that has ever been said ever.

If the big tuna industry wants to make millennials their scapegoat, whatever, it's fine. We'll take the blame for ending eating tuna in small, shared office spaces. We'll take the blame for eating food that's actually fresh. We'll take the blame for canned tuna just being downright nasty.

We've ruined everything else, why not just add this to our resume?

I own a can opener, so I'm not too torn up about this accusation. But, if they really want me to, I'll throw mine away too to more accurately fit my role.

Dear big tuna: You're just nasty. Let it go, it's not me, it's you. We're opening better things with our can openers now.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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