Currently, I'm sitting in the library surrounded by empty cups of caffeine and loose-leaf paper covered in scribbles from deciphering practice midterm problems.
It’s fall break: I should be snuggling up under blankets, sipping a cliché autumn-flavored drink, and binge-watching my favorite Netflix shows. Unfortunately this is not the case. I’m still knee deep in the dreaded midterm season that begins about a month after classes start in August and is unrelenting until Reading Week in December. During this time, more hours are spent in the library than in my bed and I begin showing up to class in leggings everyday. Minimal f***s are given in the appearance and wellbeing department, as all f***s are reallocated to surviving midterm season. I find myself frequently asking, “why am I choosing to put myself through this kind of lifestyle?” Whenever I call my parents to complain about my situation, they tell me I should get out more and try to relax (which is a sharp contrast from high school when I was constantly being told to study). People try to tell me “it’s okay, grades aren’t that important, take some time for yourself." And while I do take time on the weekends to indulge in midnight cookies (Insomnia Cookies is the love of my life) or a night out with friends, I can’t help but wonder if I should be studying instead.
One of the main differences I’ve noticed between college and high school is that in high school I had a definitive amount of work to do and when it was completed I could do whatever I wanted with the rest of the day. In college, however, the work seems never-ending in the sense that there is always something I technically could be doing. Whether it’s reading the recommended readings in conjunction with the required readings, taking more thorough notes on the textbook, or solving extra problems that weren’t assigned, there is never truly a moment where I can say, “I have nothing I should be doing today.” Now as I type, I recognize that not everyone stresses to this extent about midterms and grades; however, I have been blessed or cursed (depending on how you view it) with a type A personality which compels me to do everything I possibly can, as well as I possibly can. As you can imagine, it can be incredibly draining to give everything you have all the time. I’m not saying I’m “the perfect student” but I like to think that I put great emphasis on my academic life. I recognize that a large portion, if not most of our student body is equally as dedicated to academics, and as a result I feel that the campus is often shrouded by a cloud of stress.
Through thinking about this topic for the past couple of weeks I’ve come to the general conclusion that: yes, college is stressful. But it’s supposed to be. If it wasn’t this stressful I wouldn’t be inclined to push myself to see how much I can learn during my four years here. College is one of the only times in life where I will have an opportunity to simply learn for the sake of learning, completely submersing myself into my studies. I understand college isn’t just about academics, there are other social components as well as maturing into your own person, but I think academics should always be an integral part to one’s college experience. Although I dread my midterms and stress over studying, I welcome the stress because it pushes me to be the best student I can be. I guess this article just exposes the inner nerd in me that not many people outside my suitemates and study buddies get to see. I mean, I go to WashU after all.
