Middle School Relationships V. College Flings
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Relationships

Middle School Relationships V. College Flings

As the score stands, my middle school relationships are in the lead.

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Middle School Relationships V. College Flings
Project Inspired

I never thought I would say this, but after thinking about all of my ex-boyfriends from third grade onward, I miss my middle school relationships. Dating in college can be difficult, mainly because you have to find someone who actually wants to date and not just hook up, and on top of that, it can be hard to know exactly where you stand.

In middle school, "relationships" were straightforward. One time while I was waiting outside of my math classroom, a boy dropped a note on my binder that said "hey, i like u. wanna be my gf?" I was totally and completely sold. Not only was it super flattering to receive a relationshiposal via a "check yes or no" note, but I didn't have to worry about his intentions of telling me that he liked me since he obviously wanted to be my boyfriend. In contrast, a couple of weeks ago when a boy was expressing his feelings for me, he claimed that these were things he "wouldn't have the balls to say sober." Can we talk about how frustrating that is? Dealing with boys who can only be honest when they're inebriated? I'm not saying that I want every boy to start writing letters of intent, but it would be nice if open, honest conversations took place more often, which leads me to my next point: DTR.

DTR, or Defin[ing] The Relationship, is a staple in today's norm of "we're just hanging out." While taking the time to discuss the relationship's progress is important, I personally feel like DTR shouldn't be used in a desperate manner to figure out exactly where things lie. Yeah, some people like to go with the flow, and I do too, but when you add in physical contact and a lot of feelings, it can be hard to distinguish a fling from a potential relationship. In college, people can make-out and it could potentially lead to nothing, but in middle school, the only time you kissed was if you were dating or if it was a pickup game of Spin the Bottle. Well, I never played Spin the Bottle, but it seemed like a fun game from all of the teen movies I watched.

I understand why many college students are hesitant to get into a relationship, especially their freshman year, but I don't think that gives anyone the excuse to lead someone on. If you're not ready, then that's perfectly OK to admit. What's not OK is to claim that you're "going with the flow" when in fact there is no intention of furthering things.

I am not trying to escape fault through writing this; I have done my fair share of blurring the lines. In fact, I am at least equally guilty of avoiding straight answers and awkward confrontations. Middle school was easy because even if you weren't brave enough to say it to their face, you could tell your best friend and before you know it, it would be spread around the entire grade. College isn't really like that. In college, you're a big kid and therefore are held to act like a big kid, even if it absolutely terrifies you.

While I miss certain aspects of middle school relationships, I wouldn't change anything about the somewhat pitiful flings I've had so far. They all taught me something — either about what I want or how I should act in the future — and I'm happy to be where I am now, at a fantastic school, with wonderful people.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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