An Open Letter To The Guy Who Broke Me
Start writing a post
Relationships

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Broke Me

if your intentions were to break me- you succeeded

18531
An Open Letter To The Guy Who Broke Me

Dear _____,

I have gone through the words I would say to you if I had the chance...

How I might tell you that our relationship shook me to my core; had me questioning who I was and what my worth was. How I wondered what I could have possibly done to deserve to be treated the way you treated me.

Maybe you didn't realize how bad things got; how toxic our relationship had become. Maybe you thought it had stayed as amazing as it was in the beginning.

In the beginning, we talked for hours on the phone; about the music we liked, telling each other funny stories, and we had deep talks about real things. I appreciated that you recognized I was still working through things from my past, and I understood that you had a lot on your plate. We both recognized we were very different, but the way we connected made it feel like this was "meant to be." We both decided that no matter what came our way, we wanted to stick by each other. You quickly became my best friend, my go-to, and my rock.

And then what happened... why did everything change?

It was like a switch had flipped, and we were fighting everyday- about things that didn't even matter. There were no longer conversations about things we disagreed on, but an argument because you didn't want to hear me out. This led to your numerous angry outbursts which I would then end up forgiving you for your harsh words and rude comments. I started making excuses for your actions, and tried to tell myself "this time, it'll change." I tried to look past the double-standards you had created in our relationship, how you could but I couldn't. I desperately tried to make you happy, but it was hard when I was constantly walking on eggshells. I gave you second and third chances... hoping that it might go back to how it was in the beginning.

Till finally one day I couldn't do it anymore.

And I broke.

I didn't even recognize myself in the short span that we had been together.

The strong person I once was felt so weak. My soft heart was now hard, filled with anger, hurt, and frustration. My trusting mindset was now overly cautious, my light-hearted spirit became heavy and drained. I was constantly on edge... feeling restless and tense.

So when I started realizing the person I had become... I started wondering if maybe I was the problem. I mean, you don't blow up on someone for no reason, right?

Of course I know I wasn't perfect in our relationship, but I had thought that I was doing my best. But maybe I wasn't understanding enough. Maybe I pushed you to the edge, maybe I aggravated you and stressed you out. Maybe I gave you an excuse to cheat on me, maybe I gave you good reasons to blow up on me.

And the scariest thought-

Maybe I was unworthy of love.

Maybe I was unworthy of love, and you saw that.

This set me on a path of self-destruction; making decisions that I wouldn't normally make, finding my worth and value in temporary happiness; numbing the pain anyway I could, and hiding behind closed doors because of shame and guilt. I no longer knew who I was, and I was scared that I was broken beyond repair.

Working through this concept was a process and is still a process I am working through. But I have come to the conclusion that it was not that I am unworthy of love; it's that you did not know how to love me correctly.

Pure love is filled with genuineness, honesty, fairness, compromise, understanding, kindness, and gentleness.

Your love was filled with manipulation, control, hurtfulness, double-standards, and impatience.

And I did not deserve this kind of love that you had to give.

Once I realized this, I felt the broken pieces start to come back together- and my heart softening. I felt free and light-hearted, and I felt the happiness and color coming back into my life. I could breathe again; I was becoming the person I once was.

I now know who I am, what I want, and more importantly, what I deserve. I know that I am worthy of pure love. And I no longer blame myself for your actions; but I do realize you are human and you made some mistakes, just as I have.

I know that you haven't apologized and probably never will; because somehow in that mind of yours, you think that you have done absolutely nothing wrong. But still, I want you to know that someday I will forgive you for the pain you brought into my life.

But I do want to thank you.

Thank you for showing me what a man is not. Thank you helping me realize what I don't deserve, and what I shouldn't put up with. Thank you for helping me come to terms with the fact that not all people have good intentions. Thank you for finally letting go of the control, and allowing me to move on.

And I hope that you have learned. I hope you have learned that manipulation won't always work, and anger is no way to deal with things. I hope you have learned how to treat a woman with respect, and that every person has feelings. I hope you have learned how to love, and love purely.

Those are the words I would say to you if I had the chance. But the truth is, I don't want that chance. I don't want to reminisce with you about how our relationship broke me.

Because I'm healing. And it's time for me to focus on me, and who I am. And I am a girl that rises above.

Sincerely,

Me.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lum3n

Women are known to lug around heavy purses with unnecessary items inside. How many of these useful items do you keep in your own bag? We need to be prepared with a list of things to have with us whenever we leave the house again.

Keep Reading... Show less
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/dec/13/harry-styles-fine-line-review-columbia

I personally love using song lyrics as my Instagram captions, especially from songs that I love or that mean a lot to me, and I happen to love Harry Styles and all of his songs! So I made a list of lyrics from each of his songs that you could use in your next Instagram caption.

Keep Reading... Show less

Everyone's been here. And, truthfully, it sucks. But in order to move on and get past something you need to allow yourself to feel it for what it is--all of the heartbreak and pain--and then you can start to take steps move on.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

11 Christmas Movies You'll Remember If You Were A 2000s Kid

Because I'm still reminiscing about simpler times.

25550

The Christmas season is coming to an end, but it's not too late to get some last-minute movies in! Unfortunately, this year didn't look like a typical Christmas. While we can't have any big Christmas parties or family gatherings, we can still celebrate at home! Christmas is the best time for nostalgia, and we could all use some warm and fuzzy feelings as we wrap up a tough year and enter a new one that hasn't been proven any calmer, either.

As a kid who grew up in the 2000s, I can think of some of my favorite staple Christmas movies. If you're looking for recommendations or just a walk down memory lane, check out the list below.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

9 Reasons 'The Wilds' Should Be Your Next Binge Watch

The Wilds is the Best New Show on Amazon Prime

18042
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/amazon-s-wilds-much-more-just-gender-swapped-lord-flies-ncna1250078

As we enter the new year, you might be looking for a great show to kick-off 2021. Look no further, I have the perfect recommendation. "The Wilds" was released on Amazon Prime last month and has been gaining traction steadily since then. This series of 10 one-hour episodes tells the stories of eight girls who find themselves on a deserted island after their plane crashed while they are on their way to a resort. Unlike other survival shows, there's a bit more to the story than what first meets the eye. This show is unique in characters, storytelling methods, and plot.

If you aren't convinced yet, allow me to provide you with a list of further persuasion.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Therapeutic Ways To Be Adventurous During The Pandemic

Add some music to reduce the COVID-anxiety a bit and perceive your surroundings as the elaborate setting of a land far, far away from home

7644

Even if we are not traveling abroad at the moment, we can still travel locally while maintaining social distancing and preventative guidelines. Sometimes, the little things in life seem the most fascinating and joyous to us compared to the flamboyant luxuries that we perhaps have a wishful desire for.

So, as a potential remedy for our travel necessity, I have listed 5 alternative ways in which you can relish your traveling desires during this pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

10 Things TikTok Made Me Buy, And Now My Life Is So Much Better

Where would I be without my Revlon hair dryer or CeraVe skin products?! Thanks, TikTok.

9344
CeraVe/Instagram

TikTok is a great way to see what products are trending. People are sharing tips and tricks about items that they use to make their life happier, healthier, or just easier.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments