1. Don't strive to be perfect — strive to be yourself

I think it's safe to say that middle school is all about proving yourself and striving to the best at something. It feels like a constant competition between who is the prettiest, smartest, or most athletic. I remember wanting to be the smartest kid in my class, the best cheerleader on my team, and the prettiest girl in my grade. Being perfect was the goal.

But what exactly does perfect mean?

My whole life I heard the word "perfect" in so many different contexts. Growing up as a competitive dancer, I heard the phrase "practice makes perfect" too many times to count. When I got a 100% on a test, teachers would write "PERFECT!" in all capitals under the circled A+.

We all have a different idea of what makes something perfect, but when we're younger, we have a more naive idea of what that word encompasses.

Because of things like social media, we have a picture in our minds of what the "perfect" person should be like. I know as a middle school girl, I thought the perfect girl had to be tall, skinny, popular, and most likely a cheerleader. I'd be lying if I said that my idea of perfection wasn't a factor in my decision to become a cheerleader in middle school. I wanted to be that picture-perfect girl I always saw in movies.

I was always striving to be better than everyone else in whatever I was doing.

Constantly striving to be perfect is so exhausting. That's why I love the idea of being your best self other than being perfect. You can never be perfect, but you can take those amazing qualities about yourself and run with them. Perfection isn't attainable, but being the best YOU can possibly be at something is. Always pushing yourself to do the best you can do is a great mind set to have, because you're always setting and achieving personal goals. Instead of trying to attain perfection, try to be perfectly happy with yourself.

2. Just because that boy beside you doesn't love you doesn't mean God doesn't

This was a tough one for me through my middle school years. You see, I didn't have a boyfriend at all until I was in eighth grade. Not even one of those kindergarten boyfriends that you shared your animals crackers with at snack time. I was extremely self conscious of my body in 6th and 7th grade. I was a chunky kid, and I had an actual unibrow. Since I felt this way about myself, I knew no boy could like me, so I kept my crushes to myself and never did anything about them.

It wasn't until 8th grade when I grew about 5 inches, my chunk went away, and I had two eyebrows that I started feeling decent about myself. I was in the only scholars class in my grade, captain of my cheer team, and in about every club you could think of. What more could a middle school girl ask for?

A boy of course.

This newly found confidence of mine made me finally let out who I had a crush one since the beginning of 7th grade. He was a 3-sport athlete who was also in scholars classes with me.

Irresistible right?

Well, he found out about my crush on him, and he was not interested.

And like any other middle school girl who found out her crush didn't like her, I was devastated. I started second guessing everything about myself. Why didn't he like me? Was I still too big? Was I not smart enough? All of these questions raced through my mind.

Of course, I only know the girl's perspective on all this, but being a middle school girl is hard. It's really hard not to let boys define you during that time. Honestly, I think most middle school girls want a boyfriend just to say that they have one. It's almost like a stepping stone of a girl's middle school career.

It wasn't until I got older that I realized how silly that is. When you're that young, and that one person you love doesn't love you back, you feel like no one loves you. Sometimes you even tell yourself that God doesn't love you because that boy beside you turned you down. How can someone that high and mighty love you when this 12-year-old boy doesn't?

Let me just tell y'all this. Your Heavenly Father loves you more than any boy EVER will.

Enough said.

3. You have time to read your Bible — stop saying that you don't

Wow. This one hits home. Hard.

I remember telling myself countless time that I didn't have time to read my bible in middle school. I was always "too busy". But Lord knows I had enough time to spend hours making up cheer dances and going to my friend's houses every weekend.

I always told myself that since I went to church almost every Sunday and Wednesday that that was enough Jesus for the week. Because I didn't read the Word on my own time, I didn't have that close, personal relationship with him until I got older. That is something I have always regretted.

When you're a busy middle schooler, it can be difficult to let quiet time be a constant thing in your life. You always hear "take 15 minutes in the morning or right before you go to bed to do your devotional". That is definitely easier said than done. The thing is, you have to find a rhythm and way of spending time with God that is unique to you. Pray on your way to school in the morning. Read your bible after supper before you start your homework. Have those conversations about what God has done in your life to your teammates. Every little bit counts.

Coming from someone in college, you will have those tough conversations with people who will really test you on your beliefs. Having a good foundation to go back on makes standing firm in your faith that much easier.

4. There are church-goers and Christ followers — know the difference. 

I touched on this a little in the previous point, but to reiterate, going to church every Sunday and Wednesday does not make you a Christian.

Let me say it louder for the people in the back.

Sitting in the pews doesn't make you a Christian. Loving God and living your life for the Lord does.

Growing up in a Southern Baptist church, I was always taught that as a Christian, you should go to church every time the doors are open and pray before every meal. If you do this, you're a "good Christian." I think even people who aren't Christians know that those are the "rules" of being one. Of course, these things aren't bad by any means, it just that it gives us an idea that it's okay not to have a personal relationship with the Lord the other five days of the week as long as you're going to church Sunday and Wednesday.

In middle school, and even into high school, I believed that my relationship was just fine with God because I did all the "church things." I went to church, prayed, even went to my school's ministry events. But was I a true Christ follower or just a churchgoer?

It's kind of hard to understand the difference until you experience a real relationship with God. When you're a Christ follower, you don't only want to go to church and pray, but you have that fire to go out and make disciples. You'll start to want others to know His name and the great things He can do for them because you know the many things He has done for you.

So don't have just that external relationship with the everyday aspects of Christianity, but have the internal love in your heart for the Lord. When you do, it's so much easier to truly live for Him.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I know things are definitely different for middle schoolers now compared to when I was their age almost 7 years ago. If anything it is definitely a lot harder to be a Christian in middle school now. I didn't even have an Instagram when I was in middle school, and now they have all these other kinds of social media right at their fingertips. In middle school, things can be so complicated,, and now, social media is bringing new levels of jealously, anxiety, and comparison into middle schoolers lives.

Sadly, these things don't end as you go into high school, and even on in to college. All the things I mentioned previously in this article still pertains to my life now. Sometimes I strive to be perfect. Sometimes I don't read my bible. Sometimes I still feel like that weird Christian girl who talks about Jesus too much. However, I don't let those mistakes make me think that I need to give up on pursuing those things.

Middle school is a hard time, and I'm assuming most people have something from that time in their life they wish they could change. Those moments make us who we are, and it is our job to tell our mistakes so others don't make the same ones.

Even though middle school was kind of a train wreck, it made me who I am today, and it took me standing in front of hundreds of teenagers being vulnerable for me to accept those years and what they did for me. Now I can take what those years taught me to encourage others to do things differently.