I have gone my entire life being told by others and myself that no one likes me when I'm sad. I was told to just, "get over it," and "stop being so sensitive." I grew up being told that depression was just a fancy word for being sad and that is all it is.
When I finally decided to go to the doctors for my "sadness" it was only after I self-harmed because depression is more than sadness, it is more than being sensitive.
The truth about my depression is that it is almost as if my brain is attempting to sabotage my body. I am in a constant battle with myself to remain stable and to keep the emotions at bay. For me, my depression is not a constant force in my life. It comes in monstrous waves sometimes, and then settles for a while, waiting for the next trigger.
The truth about my depression is that I can't control what triggers me. Sometimes I know my triggers and I avoid them at all costs, but most of the time new triggers appear. Something as simple as a mess up while at work can cause the waves to start up again. It seemingly takes just a few seconds for my mood to drop and it takes a lifetime for it to come back up.
The truth about my depression is it doesn't always make me want to lay in bed alone all day. A lot of the time when my depression hits me, I want to surround myself with the people that I love. I surround myself with people who understand what I'm dealing with and just allow me to be around them. I'm not always the life of the party, sometimes I just sit and don't talk, but it is the fact that I am surrounded by people who make me happy that helps.
The truth about my depression is that it does not limit me. My depression has a way of making everyday tasks a little more difficult, but it does not stop me from going for what I want and working hard to get there. I used to let it slow me down and stop me, until I learned how to manage it and now it does not control me.
Depression has a way of affecting everyone a little differently, but the battle is a tough one for anyone who suffers from it. There is a huge stigma about depression which makes those with depression scared to open up about their illness. As a way to combat the stigma, I find it incredibly valuable to explain to people just how depression affects me and how it doesn't. It is important for everyone to understand this illness and see it as something that some people battle with every day.
