It’s no secret (or, maybe it is) that we don’t talk about about mental health much in the US. Especially on college campuses, where students are often expected to take on a full class schedule, a part-time job, internships, a social life, and still manage to make time to take care of ourselves. A lot of college kids struggle with conditions like anxiety and depression everyday, and it doesn’t help seeing a lot of their peers abusing, self-medicating, and, or partying with the same prescription drugs they use to help them with their mental illness. I recently had the opportunity to sit down and ask a few questions to a willing female college student, who knows this story all too well.

How old are you now?
I am currently twenty years old.

What are your current diagnoses, and how old were you when you were diagnosed?
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was eleven. A little later, when I was around thirteen, I was diagnosed with a mixed anxiety disorder that included general anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and panic attacks.

Do you take any medications? If so, can you list them if you feel comfortable?
I currently take lithium as a mood stabilizer.

Do you use any recreational drugs specifically to combat your diagnoses? Why or why not?
I do not use any recreational drugs to combat my diagnoses, but I do drink alcohol socially. There have been times where I have drank to feel more comfortable in a social situation that I am in, but that is almost never my reason for drinking. I am just a social drinker. I used to smoke weed occasionally but I found it made me feel worse, in terms of my diagnoses.

Do you feel your diagnoses affect your daily life within college? Why or why not?
I do feel like every day is harder because I am not entirely in control of my mood or my thoughts. My mood can be very unpredictable; Some days I will have more energy than I know what to do with, and other days my energy level and motivation level will be so low that it makes it hard for me to function. It is very hard to be productive and get my daily responsibilities done when my mood is at a low. My anxiety makes it hard too because I think very deeply and intensely into almost every situation that occurs in my life and it’s very hard for me to focus on what’s important in a given moment or in a given day when I have so many other things I am worrying about. When I get a single worry in my head, that worry takes over my entire mind, and I cannot think about anything else. This makes it very hard to sometimes focus on other tasks when, in my head, that worry is more important than anything.

Do you find your diagnoses ever affect your social life? Why or why not?
Same way. It is hard for me to put on an act in front of other people, so when my mood is at a low and I am depressed, it is hard for me to smile around other people and talk to them when any human interaction feels like it takes so much energy out of me to put on that act that I am okay. Also, when my worries are very bad, it is hard for me to focus on what other people are saying and focus on the current social situations when my mind is somewhere else.

How do you feel about prescription drugs being used as party drugs? Or being used by students without prescriptions?
I will never be able to understand how that drug feels for them. I have taken anti-anxieties for years and they have made me feel “normal” because my brain needs them. Therefore, when other people’s brains don’t need them, I have no idea what it does to their brains and how that makes them feel. However, I think they are dangerous because I know that most students mix those prescription drugs with other drugs, like alcohol, and that can be extremely dangerous.

What are your thoughts on mental health at a college level or in general? Do you think America/college campuses are over medicated or self-medicating?
I think it is too easy to be diagnosed with a mental illness nowadays because the DSM-5 [basically, a complete dictionary for mental disorders used to diagnose patients] makes the criteria too easy. I think a lot of people will be sad about something that happened to them and claim they are “depressed”, and then they will be hastily diagnosed with depression and be put on antidepressants [when they really don’t need them.] I don’t mean to sound insensitive, I'm also not a doctor, however, being sad is different than depression, being at a clinical condition level. I think today it is definitely over-diagnosed and people are overly medicated, but it’s hard because there are still definitely a lot of people who really are suffering and really should be medicated, and it is hard to tell who really should be and shouldn’t be.

Do you have an opinion on the stigma around mental health?
I think people have a hard time discussing mental health, especially in the US, because it can be hard for people to admit they need help. I think people are scared about being judged. I think that’s mainly due to the fact that there are people in this country, and in the world, who just don’t understand mental illness, or simply haven’t taken the time to learn about it, and are maybe subconsciously afraid of the unknown. I also believe those who have not experienced something like diagnosed, clinical depression or anxiety can’t really grasp how it truly feels, as much as they may try. And that’s also because everyone’s case can be different, and you really can never know exactly how someone else is feeling unless you are them. I think a lot of people look at me when I’m depressed and try to cheer me up by saying something funny or taking me out somewhere, or reassuring me of how much they care about me, and while all that is great and very much appreciated, depression doesn’t always have an exact cause; taking me out for ice cream is sweet, but doesn’t do much for the chemical imbalance in my brain, that’s why I need my medication. Or when people tell me to “not worry” when I have a panic attack, although I know they’re trying to be helpful, it’s frustrating to hear that when that’s all I want to do - stop worrying, but I can’t... I think I got a little off track, but in conclusion, I think mental health is just as important as physical health and I hope we can become more accepting of that and move forward to help and support mental health patients, instead of brush them off or shame them.