When I was 16 years old, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, clinical depression and anorexia nervosa, all in one doctor's appointment. I remember the sinking feeling in my stomach while I was handed a prescription for anti-depressants and a prescription that essentially kick started my metabolism, forcing me to eat. I remember feeling defeated and embarrassed; I believed I wasn’t strong enough to save my self from drowning. I was officially a statistic: I was one of the 2.8 million American teens who suffered from depression.
It took me a long time to come to terms with my diagnosis, and I am still learning how to cope with it. One thing that has made my journey so wonderful is the openness and support I have experienced in the past year. When I was diagnosed five years ago, there was definitely a bigger stigma surrounding mental health issues. Over the years, I have seen so much growth when it comes to society finally talking about a topic that was once considered a taboo. I’m sure every day that you log onto Facebook you see a new post with a title like “10 Things People with Social Anxiety Experience Daily,” or “An Open Letter to my Depression.” While these are all amazing when it comes to erasing the stigma attached to mental illness, this is not one of those posts.
This post is for the person whose serotonin levels are within the normal range. This is for the person who has never self-harmed, nor have they ever thought about doing so. This is for the person who doesn’t deal with a constant mental illness. Again, don’t get me wrong, I am all for the encouragement of people who have been diagnosed with things like GAD or bipolar disorder. However, I think this overwhelming support has unintentionally ostracized those who don’t fall into the statistic. This is something I have been noticing a lot lately, especially within my own friend group. It is manifested in a type of guilt that’s hard to describe, but easy to see when you notice it.
The best way to describe it is what I like to call the “it could be worse” guilt. I have seen so many of my friends invalidate their thoughts and emotions because they believe they don’t matter if it isn’t a full-blown mood disorder. Just because you don’t have an anxiety disorder does not mean you have never experienced anxious emotions. Just because you haven’t been diagnosed with clinical depression does not mean you have never had depressing times in your life. Both are extremely important, but it is also essential to know the difference. No, it is not cool to romanticize mental illness or to belittle another person’s struggle. The point I am making in this post is that everyone has hard times and it is important to be in tune with our minds in the same way we are in tune with our bodies. Just because you do not have a mental illness does not mean mental health is not important for you.
What I think is the most important is promoting positive mental health care. I like to use this analogy: you would never tell a person to stop flossing because they don’t have gum cancer. You would never tell someone to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day because they don’t have heart disease. This should be the same attitude we should have with metal health. We put mental illnesses into their own category because they don’t always manifest themselves physically, but it is important to remember the brain is an organ, just like the heart or lungs; we need to be proactive in taking care of it. If not dealt with, stress, anxiety, and depression can have negative effects on other parts of the body. Especially in 2016, when stress is a part of almost everyone’s lives, we need to take time to cater to the mind in the same way we take time to live a physically healthy life.
One thing that I always tell my friends is that there is not a single emotion that you are not entitled to feel, but what really matters is how you act on that emotion. For example, I hate when people say “I know I shouldn’t feel sad, but…” That insinuates that feeling sadness, or any other negative emotion, is wrong, or that we must internalize all feelings unless they are positive. That is the farthest thing from the truth. Yes, you can feel sad. No, you cannot claim you have depression and not leave bed for weeks because you had one hard day at work. It is all about how you react. I think it is so important to find an outlet for pent up emotions. I know it's cliché, but I live by meditation, yoga, and journaling, because I’m not the venting type. (If you’re looking for cool meditation or yoga apps, check these out! I swear by them!) It is important to know your inner self as much as you know your outer self.
If you need a mental health day for some self-care, take it. If you need to take a lighter load in school, do it. If you need to cut out that toxic friend or end a tumultuous relationship, do it. Do not ever put your feelings second because someone else has it worse. Your happiness should always be the number one priority, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
