To The Men Who Broke My Heart, Thank You

To The Men Who Broke My Heart, Thank You

You were right - it wasn't me, but it also wasn't you.

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To my ex,

I'm stronger now, because of you. I understand now that I loved you too much. It's not that you didn't deserve it, but my love for you often times got in the way of the truth. The truth that you had flaws. That you weren't certain about us. That you and I were never meant to be.

At the time, the break up destroyed me. I would often blame myself, despite you reassuring me that I had been a great girlfriend. I'd break down when I learned you were dating someone new. My self-esteem would hit rock bottom and I would question what it was about me that wasn't good enough for you. It sometimes drove me to the point of insanity. I'd find myself checking your social media or reminiscing over old photographs of us together.

It took a long time, but I finally realized that you were right all along. I was a great girlfriend, I just wasn't right for you. And now that I've moved on, I see that you weren't right for me either. Don't get me wrong, there is still a lot to love about you. The qualities I fell in love with back then are still there, but so are the ones I ignored during our time together. Regardless of what I felt for you at the time, we simply weren't compatible in the long run. If you hadn't broken up with me then, we would have become unhappy forcing a love that wasn't meant to last.

Looking back on our relationship, I know I wasn't truly myself. In my blind love, I became who I thought you wanted me to be. The values that mattered to me didn't seem to matter as much once I realized yours were different. The deeper I fell in love with you, the more I began to lose myself to the relationship. It wasn't healthy for me to essentially give myself up in order to keep you happy, and I think you knew that all along.

Regardless, I am still very grateful for you. The experience we shared allowed me to set new standards for love. I know now what I need in a partner and the values we must share. You realized that I deserved better before I did. That doesn't mean you're not a great person, just that you weren't able to reciprocate the love I gave to you. And that's OK.

Since our time together, I found someone who is able to give me what I need in a relationship. Someone who convinced me that they love me as I am, who makes me feel like I don't need to sacrifice any part of myself or my values in order to share intimacy. Someone who loves just hard as I do and respects the journey I took with you that inevitably lead me to him.

So even though it nearly killed me at the time, thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for keeping your promise to me that it was for the best. Thank you for remaining my friend, and for proving to me that we're both happier this way.

Sincerely,

Your ex

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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12 You Should Know About Your Significant Other After You've Been Dating 12 Months Or More

You have multiple food orders memorized.

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Dating someone for a year+ means that you are bound to know things you might not have known in the early months of the relationship. You also might act differently than you did at the beginning of the relationship.

Here are 12 things you know when you've been dating for over a year.

1. Clothing size, shoe size

This one you can probably be able to figure out early in the relationship. But, you start to keep in the back of your mind and think of that person when you see clothes or a pair of shoes they might like.

2. You can guess what they are going to text back

Especially if it is just a casual conversation about nothing in particular. You know their go-to responses.

3. You have multiple food orders memorized

Their food orders, of course.

4. You have that one TV show you can put on and neither of you will complain

And that is "The Office."

5. You don't get jealous

How could you have lasted in a relationship for over a year and not have any trust?

6. You know likes and dislikes

And can assume if they are going to like or dislike something.

7. You got a LONG Snapstreak

474 day streak over here.

8. Their successes make you just as happy as it makes them

Seeing your significant other do well and accomplish something great is just as rewarding as if you had done the same.

9. Your friends are his friends and his friends are your friends

And you can all hang out together.

10. You have your favorite restaurants

That we always end up going to.

11. You've met everyone in the family and extended family

And you feel like part of the family.

12. You know extremely personal things about each other

That you would not necessarily share with the public.

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