To my ex,

I'm stronger now, because of you. I understand now that I loved you too much. It's not that you didn't deserve it, but my love for you often times got in the way of the truth. The truth that you had flaws. That you weren't certain about us. That you and I were never meant to be.

At the time, the break up destroyed me. I would often blame myself, despite you reassuring me that I had been a great girlfriend. I'd break down when I learned you were dating someone new. My self-esteem would hit rock bottom and I would question what it was about me that wasn't good enough for you. It sometimes drove me to the point of insanity. I'd find myself checking your social media or reminiscing over old photographs of us together.

It took a long time, but I finally realized that you were right all along. I was a great girlfriend, I just wasn't right for you. And now that I've moved on, I see that you weren't right for me either. Don't get me wrong, there is still a lot to love about you. The qualities I fell in love with back then are still there, but so are the ones I ignored during our time together. Regardless of what I felt for you at the time, we simply weren't compatible in the long run. If you hadn't broken up with me then, we would have become unhappy forcing a love that wasn't meant to last.

Looking back on our relationship, I know I wasn't truly myself. In my blind love, I became who I thought you wanted me to be. The values that mattered to me didn't seem to matter as much once I realized yours were different. The deeper I fell in love with you, the more I began to lose myself to the relationship. It wasn't healthy for me to essentially give myself up in order to keep you happy, and I think you knew that all along.

Regardless, I am still very grateful for you. The experience we shared allowed me to set new standards for love. I know now what I need in a partner and the values we must share. You realized that I deserved better before I did. That doesn't mean you're not a great person, just that you weren't able to reciprocate the love I gave to you. And that's OK.

Since our time together, I found someone who is able to give me what I need in a relationship. Someone who convinced me that they love me as I am, who makes me feel like I don't need to sacrifice any part of myself or my values in order to share intimacy. Someone who loves just hard as I do and respects the journey I took with you that inevitably lead me to him.

So even though it nearly killed me at the time, thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for keeping your promise to me that it was for the best. Thank you for remaining my friend, and for proving to me that we're both happier this way.


Your ex