I Won't Expect The Man I End Up With To Be Masculine And You Shouldn't Either, Masculinity Is Useless

I Won't Expect The Man I End Up With To Be Masculine And You Shouldn't Either, Masculinity Is Useless

Toxic masculinity just needs to exit.

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The only standard a man should be held to is to be a good person.

Toxic masculinity should not be an expectation. It's damaging to a man's self-esteem to have manliness held over his head all of the time. Men are self-conscious of the way they walk, sit, speak, stand, and act in general. They're expected to bottle up their emotions because "real men don't cry." It isn't fair.

With the movement of women's equality, we forget that men deserve equality as well.

Women are pushing past the idea that they're supposed to be housewives and mothers, so men should no longer be expected to know how to change tires and be the breadwinners. There's give and take involved. If we expect equal pay and opportunity, they should be allowed to cry. We can lift each other up.

I made a promise to myself that I would never expect anything of a man that I wouldn't expect of myself. As long as the man I choose to spend the rest of my life with is a genuine and honest person, nothing else will matter. The heart contains so much more of a good man than anything else.

I won't need a provider, just a person to share my life with. I want to laugh with them and share every thought and struggle with them. That shouldn't require any masculinity from them or feminity from me.

All men should be allowed to be vulnerable.

In fact, vulnerability should be encouraged. They should share their feelings and be expressive. It feels good to let everything out and some men will never get the chance to know that firsthand because they were taught to not show weakness.

I pray whoever I choose to spend my life with is in touch with his feelings. I hope he can cook better than me. I hope he cries when he's upset and smiles every chance he gets. I hope he is confident and comfortable with who he is, regardless of what he knows, what he does, or how he thinks. And I truly hope, above all things, that he knows the support and love I will have for all he is. Every shortcoming, every feeling, and every expression.

I hope that my future is full of balance and sharing. There should be an exchange of struggles, a lot of figuring things out as we go, and equal standards.

Previous generations were always too busy separating duties 50/50 and making sure everything was appropriate for the rules of gender when it should just be about getting things done and using each others' strengths. If we focus more on what we're good at and less on gender roles and expectations of society, everyone would be better off.

I could not care less about what society thinks about whatever man I choose. Society isn't the one who will share a life with him. I know what works for me and I know where my heart is. I know if I'm going to ever raise a child with anyone, it has to be with someone encouraging and supportive of emotion and creativity.

Masculinity is so useless compared to everything else.

Sorry not sorry.

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I Am A Female And I Am So Over Feminists

I believe that I am a strong woman, but I also believe in a strong man.
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Beliefs are beliefs, and everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm all about girl power, but in today's world, it's getting shoved down our throats. Relax feminists, we're OK.

My inspiration actually came from a man (God forbid, a man has ideas these days). One afternoon my boyfriend was telling me about a discussion his class had regarding female sports and how TV stations air fewer female competitions than that of males. In a room where he and his other male classmate were completely outnumbered, he didn't have much say in the discussion.

Apparently, it was getting pretty heated in the room, and the women in the class were going on and on about how society is unfair to women in this aspect and that respect for the female population is shrinking relative to the male population.

If we're being frank here, it's a load of bull.

SEE ALSO: To The Women Who Hate Feminism

First of all, this is the 21st century. Women have never been more respected. Women have more rights in the United States than ever before. As far as sports go, TV stations are going to air the sports that get the most ratings. On a realistic level, how many women are turning on Sports Center in the middle of the day? Not enough for TV stations to make money. It's a business, not a boycott against female athletics.

Whatever happened to chivalry? Why is it so “old fashioned" to allow a man to do the dirty work or pay for meals? Feminists claim that this is a sign of disrespect, yet when a man offers to pick up the check or help fix a flat tire (aka being a gentleman), they become offended. It seems like a bit of a double standard to me. There is a distinct divide between both the mental and physical makeup of a male and female body. There is a reason for this. We are not equals. The male is made of more muscle mass, and the woman has a more efficient brain (I mean, I think that's pretty freaking awesome).

The male body is meant to endure more physical while the female is more delicate. So, quite frankly, at a certain point in life, there need to be restrictions on integrating the two. For example, during that same class discussion that I mentioned before, one of the young ladies in the room complained about how the NFL doesn't have female athletes. I mean, really? Can you imagine being tackled by a 220-pound linebacker? Of course not. Our bodies are different. It's not “inequality," it's just science.

And while I can understand the concern in regard to money and women making statistically less than men do, let's consider some historical facts. If we think about it, women branching out into the workforce is still relatively new in terms of history. Up until about the '80s or so, many women didn't work as much as they do now (no disrespect to the women that did work to provide for themselves and their families — you go ladies!). We are still climbing the charts in 2016.

Though there is still considered to be a glass ceiling for the working female, it's being shattered by the perseverance and strong mentality of women everywhere. So, let's stop blaming men and society for how we continue to “struggle" and praise the female gender for working hard to make a mark in today's workforce. We're doing a kick-ass job, let's stop the complaining.

I consider myself to be a very strong and independent female. But that doesn't mean that I feel the need to put down the opposite gender for every problem I endure. Not everything is a man's fault. Let's be realistic ladies, just as much as they are boneheads from time to time, we have the tendency to be a real pain in the tush.

It's a lot of give and take. We don't have to pretend we don't need our men every once in a while. It's OK to be vulnerable. Men and women are meant to complement one another—not to be equal or to over-power. The genders are meant to balance each other out. There's nothing wrong with it.

I am all for being a proud woman and having confidence in what I say and do. I believe in myself as a powerful female and human being. However, I don't believe that being a female entitles me to put down men and claim to be the “dominant" gender. There is no “dominant" gender. There's just men and women. Women and men. We coincide with each other, that's that. Time to embrace it.

Cover Image Credit: chrisjohnbeckett / Flickr

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We Spend So Much Time Talking About How Much Men Suck In 2019, That We Forget Girls Are Just As Bad

I always talk about how awful guys can be, but let's take a second to talk about how awful my own sex can be, too.

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In our culture, we tend to place all the blame on guys in most relationships by saying how "all men suck" but what about girls?

Girls can be just as bad.

I'm constantly saying how bad guys can be but yet I never stop to analyze things I've done that weren't okay or things my fellow female friends have done that was awful.

I'm not innocent either, I've done some terrible things to really nice guys in my life.

There was one man in my life that genuinely cared for me and wanted to date me but I didn't feel the same at all and lead him on. I honestly didn't think I was leading him on at first but the minute I realized it I tried to nicely let him down. To this day I feel awful about it because I hurt him the way many other guys in my life have hurt me.

I tend to defend my own gender a lot in conversations and I now understand that I really shouldn't. I've seen so many of my female friends treat great guys terribly and have ignored it for so long because I want to believe that females can't be that awful. I was wrong.

I've had some of my best guy friends get treated like absolute garbage by girls that wanted to just party and partake in the hookup culture rather than be with a great guy. I don't get it.

If you have a great man that you're attracted to and loves you unconditionally why would you want to throw it away to chase after boys that won't remember your name the next day?

I've had to keep secrets for friends before that ate me up inside. I had a friend who cheated on her boyfriend by kissing another man in front of me and kept it quiet.

It is NEVER okay to do that to someone, especially a guy that truly cares about you.

It is NOT OK to be on dating apps while dating someone. If you are dating someone, you're exclusive. There is no need to continue talking to men that obviously don't want to just be your friend. There is no good excuse and if you have to try and justify it to yourself, then it's probably not a good idea.

I honestly made myself believe that females didn't play the games men play with our hearts, but we can be just as bad if not worse than a lot of men.

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