Last summer I had the pleasure of traveling to northern California with my family before I went off to college. One night we stopped in the small town of Carmel-by-the-Sea, also known more simply as “Carmel,” and dined at the famous Hog’s Breath Inn, founded by none other than the spaghetti western cowboy himself, Clint Eastwood.
As we were seated by the hostess, an unparalleled level of masculinity seemed to radiate from the walls of the old, tattered pub that made me question what makes Clint Eastwood so… manly? Was it those sharp eyes that cut through the hearts of his enemies before he drew his pistol? The way his mouth curled around the tip of that cigar as smoke trickled out from his lips? How about his testosterone driven voice that wooed every young woman to the edge of their seat in "A Fistful of Dollars" and scaring the daylight out of Thao in "Gran Torino"?
If America says Clint Eastwood is a “manly man,” then who am I to say otherwise? However, at eighteen years old and nearing my first year of college, the question of what defines a man really began to stand out to me.
I was eighteen, had a little bit of facial hair, an even smaller bit of chest hair, and an old truck with manually-opening windows, but none of that seemed to boost me into the echelon of elite manly-men like Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, or the ever-loved and respected Myles Garrett. I figured if I wanted to find what it takes to be a real man, I should observe situations and environments in which real men were likeliest to be found.
The first place I observed was the gym, where I found hundreds of “men” pumping iron, working up a sweat, and staring at themselves in the mirror to find the best viewing angle for their bodies in their tiny tank tops. Now don’t get me wrong, not every man in the gym is like this, but there seemed to be an evident trend between the most muscular also appearing to be the most insecure. The manliest men couldn’t be insecure… so I then concluded that masculinity had little to no correlation with the physique of a male’s body.
I then thought back to Clint Eastwood, remembering the way he would vigorously puff on a cigar while strolling into town. This reminded me of the old men I used to see smoking cigars and chewing tobacco in the locker room at the golf course I played at growing up. These men certainly appeared to be manly, but many did not act the part. Many in fact were still quite boyish in their underdeveloped personalities. Cursing, slander, and vulgarity filled the room as if these men had forgotten their identity.
When I returned home from California, I attended church the following Sunday morning. I used to think, “Oh, well Christian men are sweet and gentle. A good Christian man isn’t aggressive, adventurous, or confident… Is he?” I was entirely convinced that the “perfect” Christian man was he who is submissive, action-less, and of course very, very nice. To my surprise, it seemed that I had not taken into account the men that filled the main sanctuary of my church before, but it was on that day when I realized what a real man actually is.
Until that day I had always separated men into two categories, the first being the Worldly Man. The Worldly Man is one who fulfills the expectations of what a man is supposed to be in the secular world. These men are big, brawny, ill-tempered, arrogant, wild, having no regard for anyone but themselves, and entirely uncontrollable by their community.
The second category I developed was The Man of The Church, who fulfills every expectation of what a man is supposed to look like in the church. These men are softer, introverted, very nice, well-tamed, and restricted, having complete regard for anyone but themselves and entirely controlled by their community.
The men I observed at my church that day were quite different, however. These men were strong, passionate, intense, loving, tenacious, confident, and bold. They were so different from the men I had always envisioned. They were not of the world, but also not of the church. These men were men of God, a far different breed than those my original two categories.
Godly men are in a category of their own; well-aware that they were created for dominion over the Earth, but stitched together by the creator and ruler of Heaven. It became clear to me that day that the true “real man” is a Godly man, and that many men on Earth have been coerced into something else. Worldly men are lost in the interest of their own will, and men of the church are lost in the agendas of other people. A Godly man; however, is enraptured with the will of God, and nothing less.
Since that day I have asked myself how I am to become a Godly man, and have come to the conclusion that I must be myself—the man that God has created me to be. God created me to be strong, steadfast, faithful, passionate, and loving. This is the reason for which I write, because communicating my thoughts and feelings through documentation allows me to express my inner man.
Whereas the world may see this as a sign of weakness or vulnerability, a Godly man is multi-dimensional, which is why it’s okay for me to enjoy watching football games on the weekend or playing the piano in my spare time. Young men, please remember—you are a new and rare breed! God has created men for so much more than what the world expects of them, and it is time to restore our distorted image of what a real man looks like back into His original creation.
