"Find a man who loves God more than he loves you."
Most Christian women love this concept. They tweet it, love it, live it, breathe it. This idea is their life motto and they swear by it. And that's not a bad thing. This is an excellent summary of the man that many of us one day long to marry. The problem is, we don't actually consider what this really means. We manipulate this phrase into something that reflects what our ideal relationship would be like. We fail to recognize that what this idea actually captures, though it is what we should all desire, is not what we actually want at all. We fail to see that, if we actually found a man like this, many of us wouldn't be satisfied with what they have to offer. And this is a problem with our fallen world, not the man.
So, what does a man who loves God more than he loves you actually look like? What does a relationship with a man like this actually entail?
First, you will never be the main priority in his life. You will always come second. A man who really loves God more than he loves you will continually pursue his relationship with God over his relationship with you. This means that sacrifices in your relationship will be made when God requires them. This means that God will take up more of their time, more of their thoughts, more of their hearts. God will win over you every day. This doesn't mean they will treat you bad or reject and neglect you, but it does mean that you will never be the most important part of their life.
He will never praise or worship you, something that occurs far too often in our society's stereotypical, "goals" relationship. Our culture praises men who worship the ground their women walk on. But, what we call goals, God calls idolatry.�� We love the idea of men praising women, rather than men praising God. If a man loves God more than he loves you, you will never be worshiped like the women you call "goals". This man will recognize your value as a daughter in Christ, but he will never place you on the level that society says he should.
He will also treat you well, something many girls are uncomfortable with. A man who really loves God more than he loves you will treat you with respect. He will treasure you. He will protect your heart and lead you. And while many girls are quick to say they would love that, this means being incredibly vulnerable and allowing yourself to be treated the way that God desires you to be treated. This type of intense vulnerability will rip you out of your comfort zone. And that is why, many times, women end things with men because they are "too nice," or they treat her "too well." It sounds dumb because well, it is dumb. But it also reveals that if you truly want a man like this, you'll have to believe that you are worthy of being treated well, something that only God can assure you of.
So, we should continue to desire a man who loves God more than he loves us. But it is important to consider what that means for us as women, so that when a man like this does come around, you aren't surprised or disappointed by what you find. These are the type of men that God wants for his daughters, but we have to recognize these characteristics and what they mean for us.
You, as a daughter in Christ, have to desire God above all else. You have to be content with a man who doesn't place you first. You have to be content with a man who does not make you his ultimate. You have to be willing to be vulnerable. You have to recognize your worth in Christ so that you aren't surprise when someone else finds it, too. A man who loves God more than he loves you will sacrificially love you and cherish you each day. But his praise, worship, and heart will belong to God. And ultimately, the love of a man like this will never replace or compare to the love of your Heavenly Father.
So, yes. Find yourself a man who loves God more than he loves you. Just make sure you are ready for what that really means and make sure you keep loving the God who created the man, more than the man himself. For it is the love of Christ, not of man, that satisfies the soul.
