The Meaning Behind My Semicolon Tattoo

The Meaning Behind My Semicolon Tattoo

If you see someone with a semicolon this is what it means

I've been wanting to get a tattoo for years, but I didn't have a specific tattoo in mind. I wanted something that symbolized my struggle with my eating disorder and depression and how far I've come in recovery, but I didn't want it to be obvious and I didn't want anything too big. While researching tattoos I came across a semicolon tattoo and it was exactly what I wanted.

The meaning behind a semicolon tattoo is that a semicolon is used when an author could've ended a sentence but chose not to. The same thing goes for the lives of people with mental illness. I couldn't tell you how many times I've wanted to just give up and end it all, but I decided to fight against myself to keep going.

After thinking about it for months, I finally got a semicolon tattoo on my right ankle. I chose that spot specifically because I walk with a limp and my right side is a lot weaker than my left side, so I thought it was a fitting spot. My disability has brought a lot of obstacles in my life, but I never let it stop me from achieving my goals. I could've very easily said I can't do this or that, but I'm not a quitter. I'll do whatever I need to do to achieve something, which is also why I thought the semicolon tattoo was a good choice for me.

On a larger scale, many people around the world are either drawing a semicolon on themselves' or getting a semicolon tattoo to show their support for those with depression or those they've lost to suicide. Many people with mental illnesses are getting the tattoo to spread awareness and try to stop the stigma that comes along with any type of mental illness. I also got the tattoo hoping to spread awareness about mental illness and stop the stigma around it as well.

I am usually pretty private when it comes to my mental health. The only people that really know what's going on is my therapist and one or two of my closest friends. If you were to talk to me at any given time you'd never know I used to have a terrible eating disorder that controlled most of my life, or that I've went to bed countless times too numb to feel anything, or that I still struggle with depression on a daily basis. From the outside I look like a happy healthy girl who love's life, which is far from the truth. Sure there are days where I love my life, but with depression, I seem to have more bad days than good.

I chose to get the semicolon tattoo not only to spread awareness, but also to have a constant reminder that I can get through whatever I'm currently going through because I've gotten through all of those past experiences where I didn't think I'd make it through them.

If you want to learn more about Project Semicolon check out their website, where they have a lot of great information about their project and mental illness awareness in general.

Cover Image Credit: Elizabeth Altmann

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.

Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.

7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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An Incurable Disease Doesn't Change The Love I Have For You

Because one day the one you love the most is fine and the next day they're not, it causes devastation you never truly recover from.


Loving someone with an incurable disease is the most emotionally straining thing I have ever experienced.

My significant other and I have been together for almost six years. During the summer of 2018, we all noticed the significant changes he was going through. He had lost around fifty pounds and had a lack of appetite. We had figured something was going on, however, we didn't realize it was anything serious.

Fast forward to the Fall semester of 2018. I had visited my boyfriend and we had expressed certain concerns, such as, through the night I would try and get him to stop uncontrollably itching his legs to the point of bleeding, or that he was looking a little yellow and was exhausted all the time. After seeing his sister in November, while I was at school, she pleaded with him to go to urgent care because he did not look good. He was yellow, exhausted, and very sickly looking. We didn't realize that the urgent care visit would be the precedent of the rest of our lives.

After coming home for Thanksgiving and spending a week straight in the hospital with him, it finally set in that something was not right. Between all the vomit, getting moved for testing, the weakness, the constant calling for medications because the pain was so severe, and the almost month-long stay in the hospital, it hit me full force that something was really wrong. Words will never truly describe the emotions I was feeling, or the burden of my thoughts that I felt were too selfish to pass on anyone, so I kept them to myself.

When we finally got the diagnosis, we were surprised. PSC, otherwise known as Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, is an incurable liver disease that affects the bile ducts which become scarred and inflamed, more likely than not lead to cirrhosis and an inevitable transplant. There was no cure, rather the only solution was a liver transplant, and even then the disease can be recurring.

I was thinking selfishly. I was torn in two. What would our future look like? Could we have children? Could we ever do the things we used to?

Loving someone with an incurable disease is a mix of emotions. There is a constant fear in the back of my mind that he is going to wake up in intense pain and have to be rushed to the hospital. There is a constant fear of every time waiting for the bi-weekly blood test results to come back, in fear that his Bilirubin spiked again or he is undergoing a flare up and needs to be hospitalized. There is a constant anxiety that one day he's going to be fine, and the next day he won't be. Even the simple things, such as laying beside one another, was a constant fear I had, due to the pain he was in every day. What if I hit him in my sleep on accident? What if I accidentally hugged a little too tightly and caused him pain?

Loving someone with an incurable disease can be a fluctuation of emotions, however, he makes it worth it.


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