Relationships (particularly those of the romantic sort) are strange: meeting a person, spending time with them, learning all their quirks, and learning to like those little quirks. (Well, maybe accepting more than liking.)
I have been fortunate enough to find someone whose quirks I can handle and who can handle mine. Our relationship has been a learning experience to say the least; on top of long distance and an age difference, we have one other slight difference...he grew up in a rural community and is passionate about the farming lifestyle. I grew up in a big-small town with trips to the city for fun, never spending time on a farm (let alone a tractor).
While the beginning was the typical "getting to know you," it was an adjustment to merge our lifestyles. But after almost six years, I know that dating a farmer has been one of the most satisfying, challenging, and important experiences in my life.
And now for the grand unveiling: the thirteen things I have learned during my time of being a farmer's girlfriend.
1. Being flexible on plans or getting together is vital - otherwise, you'll go crazy.
I am very precise and orderly when it comes to making plans. I like having a decided time, place, and plan. However, when dating a farmer, the most important thing to remember is that farming abides by no time schedule. Making plans during harvest or planting season is like finding a needle in a haystack (literally). The weather, the equipment, and the moisture in the fields can impact whether or not they're running - and if they can run, then all plans are on immediate hold.
2. "I'll be done in an hour" is the farmer's equivalent of "I'll be ready in five minutes."
See above. (And yes, this phrase can elicit in women the same response that men have to our "five more minutes" excuse.)
3. Pick your battles.
It's date night, and he's thirty minutes late. He was in the fields all day, he's rumpled, and he hasn't brushed his hair because he rushed out of the house so quickly to come pick you up.
An excuse for a fight? Maybe. But when it's busy season, there are more important things to worry over or fight about, and this isn't one.
4. Dates have a variety of meanings.
Will you be riding a tractor? Riding in the truck with him to the grain elevator? Will you be sitting and talking to him while he greases a combine? Who knows!! Being on the farm takes a lot of his time, and any available time together should be taken advantage of. He's always happy to have you around though, and some of your best times have been spent doing these "weird" dates.
5. Choosing an outfit for your day together can be a dangerous game.
Will you be going out to eat? Seeing a movie? Walking through the fields to check on his crop? Standing in a dusty barn while he works with livestock? Riding a hot and dirty tractor? It remains to be seen. (Note to self: jean shorts and sandals are almost always a bad idea.)
6. Seeing you drive a tractor (or try anything related to farming) will make him have a hardcore proud-dad-moment.
When I did my first tractor pull, who walked along the sidelines next to me? Videotaped me? Cheered me on and showed support, even when I almost ran someone over? You guessed it.
7. He doesn't understand your fascination with the livestock.
To you they're cute, fluffy, and precious creatures that you want to take home and cuddle. To him it's an everyday cow, goat, or bunny. Or in an even worse situation: dinner.
8. Asking a simple "How was your day?" can be a risky question.
The most dangerous question of all. Sometimes, it's totally safe. Other times, you walk into a confusing maze of angry ranting about finicky equipment, bad weather, field moisture, broken parts, and flat tires.
9. You don't know what stir crazy looks like until you've experienced a farmer during bad weather.
Maybe it's harvest, and you have a week of rain. Maybe it's the tail end of a long winter.
No matter the situation, all farmers (especially my farmer) get restless and fidgety when they aren't able to run. He may seem antsy and grouchy, but in reality, he's just got the itch to be on the tractor.
10. Fall and spring aren't just seasons - they're harvest and planting season.
Forget your fuzzy sweaters, your cute boots, and your decadent drinks. Forget your floral dresses and your rain boots. For anyone that farms or is related to farming, these seasons promise one thing: busy, busy, busy. Farmers' schedules fill up, exhaustion is a permanent state, and when you're together, his mind is almost always elsewhere. It is the ultimate test of patience.
11. He knows what hard work is - and isn't afraid of it.
The work day isn't 8:00AM to 5:00PM. Cold weather, hot weather, heavy lifting, or any form of general discomfort are put out of mind until the task is completed. Farming isn't just a hobby to fill up the evenings after work; it's a job, it's a lifestyle, and it demands the same effort that a career does.
12. Family makes the farming world go round.
If there is one thing a farmer feels as passionate about as farming, it's family. They are the rock of support, the helping hand, and the provider when exhaustion is too much. A farming family thinks nothing of late-night runs to the field to drop off food, shifting around daily schedules to accommodate everyone, or going out of their way to help. To be accepted into a farming family provides a second family that you will always love and be grateful for.
13. No one will ever love the real you more.
Makeup or natural, cute outfit or total slob, hair perfect or in a sloppy ponytail. To him, seeing you dolled up is nice, but he doesn't need it for a good time or to make you feel spcial. All that matters to him is that you're happy, having fun, and down for whatever adventure may come your way.
