When most people think of unhealthy relationships, they think punches and assault and abuse. Recently, Twitter users have been using the hashtag #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou to show that abusive relationships aren't always physically violent but can also be emotionally and mentally violent.
"It needs to be talked about. It is incredibly relevant; I mean, you don't think it is wrong until you see someone else go through it," said a victim, who wishes to remain nameless, in an interview.
Survivors of emotional abuse, or even physical abuse, typically blame themselves for their partners actions. Or their partners blame them for their abusive ways. Abuse does not take a specific gender. Both males and females can be victims of abuse. A study done by the CDC in 2010 shows that nearly half of men and women have been abused psychologically by a partner.
These perpetrators make their victims uncomfortable in their own skin and leave everlasting scars. Females between the ages of 16-24 experience the highest rate of relationship abuse, nearly triple the national average according to Love Is Respect. Survivors of abuse, both physical and psychological, are at a much higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, self harm, and further domestic violence.
First he or she tells you that he or she is uncomfortable with you being friends with certain people. It progresses to you cutting all ties with friends. Then, he or she has access to all of your email accounts, social media passwords, and is constantly going through your text messages.
First he or she doesn't like how you dress. Next, you need his or her approval for any clothing purchase and outfit. Then, he or she is telling you that everything you wear is provocative to the opposite sex.
First he or she tells you that he needs someone to emotionally confide in. Next, he or she is demanding you to always be willing to give yourself to him. Then, he or she is using you as a scapegoat for his sexual tension.
And suddenly, it's three years, zero friends, many self esteem issues later and you are trapped, always looking over your shoulder before doing or saying something your partner may not agree with. Yes, people have been guilty to drop all their friends once they get a boyfriend or girlfriend, and that is extremely annoying, but sometimes that is a warning sign of a controlling partner.
If you notice drastic, or even slight, changes in a friend after the start of a new relationship, reach out and ask how it is going. Look for signs and trust your gut. Human intuition can be extremely accurate.
This hashtag shows just how many people are affected by emotional damage and how manipulative people can be. Contrary to what Carrie Underwood sang, it is not always bruises covered in makeup and dark sunglasses.
If you or someone you know is a victim, or a suspected victim, of domestic violence or abuse, call the domestic abuse hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Trained advocates are available 24/7.
