Relationships are great. Who doesn't like fun dates to ice skating rinks and late night movies with the person you love? That being said, it can be hard to recognize when things start going bad between two people, especially when emotional abuse is involved. The fact is that emotional abuse is hard to recognize, and even harder to confess, whether you are the abuser or the victim. To shed some more light on this shady subject, here are some telltale signs of emotional abuse, and a few ways to get yourself out of this toxic situation.
1. Your significant other invalidates your feelings and perceptions
If you find yourself sharing feelings, ideas, and other thoughts only to have them shot down by your significant other through denial, blame, and sarcasm, you could be experiencing emotional abuse. In a healthy situation, your partner should listen to whatever you have to say and respond in a polite, sensitive way that doesn't blame you for feeling the way you do. If your partner responds to you by ordering you to feel differently (Don't be so sensitive!), mocking you (Aw did I hurt your little feelings?), or denying you completely, (You shouldn't feel that way. You don't mean that.), you could be experiencing emotional abuse.
2. Your significant other gives you the cold shoulder to get what they want.
If you tend to modify your behavior around your partner in fear of provoking the silent treatment or a fit of pouting, you could also be experiencing emotional abuse. Your partner should not be able to manipulate you in such a way that you fear setting them off, or that you do whatever they want in order to keep them satisfied. You do not have to give in to these threats of ignorance.
3. Your significant other calls you names or points out your flaws.
More aggressive forms of emotional abuse include name-calling, accusing, blaming, and ordering. These behaviors are generally direct, obvious, and hurtful. However, these backhanded comments can also be disguised as an effort to help. If you find your partner taking on an "I know best" tone when trying to "help" you with things you can't change, it is likely that there is some form of emotional abuse taking place.
Please keep in mind that these are only a few signs of emotional abuse, and that every case is different. For a more complete list of emotional abuse signs, please see http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm#Types of Emotional Abuse or http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015.... If you think that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, don't force yourself to stick it out. It is not your job to try to "fix" the person you are with and you shouldn't put up with such treatment. Above all else, it should not hurt to love someone. While it will be hard, the best thing to do is to break off the relationship before things get worse or develop an exit plan, talk to your family and friends about what you are going through, and start rebuilding your self-esteem. You can do this.
If you believe you are in an emotionally abusive relationship and would like help getting out of it, feel free to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) in order to speak to an advocate who will help you create a safety plan for your unique situation. Most women's shelters also take in women who have been emotionally abused.
