I don't know about y'all, but I always feel like Spongebob trying to write his essay any time I really need to get work done. I'm all about rewarding myself for doing absolutely nothing. Made a header? Time for a break. Thought of a title? Break! I'm also super good at finding excuses: I have a headache, I'm hungry, my dog is sleeping on me. For all of my fellow procrastinators, here's a list of activities that sound like good ideas when you should just be at the library cranking things out. (But don't worry, I have faith you'll get it done tomorrow).
- Finally figure out how to contour.
- Clean out your closets.
- Give your dog a bath.
- Learn all the lyrics to your next karaoke ballad.
- Catch up with your best friend from third grade.
- Message anyone who is active on Facebook.
- Take a nap.
- Finally take those things to Goodwill.
- Do your laundry.
- Bake a cake.
- Take a nap. (Gotta be well rested before you can get down to business.)
- Write everyone in your family a letter. (Don’t forget that third cousin twenty times removed.)
- Take your cat for a walk.
- Try on all the clothes in your closet.
- Dye your hair.
- Post photos of your new hair on Instagram.
- Drink a glass (or two, or a bottle) of wine. (To relax you so you’re in the mood for writing, duh.)
- Write a list of things you need to do (and totally will).
- Watch an episode (or two, or a season) of a show on Netflix as a reward for making that list.
- Order pizza.
- Watch more Netflix because there’s no point in starting work now when you’ll just have to stop when the pizza comes.
- Eat a pizza.
- Call your boss and ask if you can take another shift this week. (Because you couldn’t actually afford that pizza, oops.)
- Check the clock, see it’s five minutes past the hour. Tell yourself you’ll start at half past.
- Open Instagram every two minutes to see how many likes you have on that picture of your hair.
- Check the clock. See it’s five minutes past when you said you would start. Tell yourself there’s no point starting until the next hour.
- Get to the next hour. It’s ten PM. Way too late to start now!
- Go to sleep.
Bonus steps for your future self (only to be done the night before a due date):
1. Make lots of coffee
3. Curse your past self
4. Cry some more
5. Somehow manage to get everything done. (Yer a wizard.)
6. Tell yourself you'll never procrastinate again.
7. Sleep for two hours (if you're lucky).
And do it all again next time! (Because you're a monster!) :D