We all thought it was a joke; now, it's a sign of the end of times. Though I'm not sure where the hordes of hate-minded voters come from, the polls show that America still, somehow, loves Donald Trump. Yet despite the masses of passionate bigots, misogynists, and racists who praise his name from rally to rally, there's no doubt who his #1 fan is: Trump himself.

Last Monday, Trump reminded us just how awesome he is while preaching to a crowd in Pennsylvania. After criticizing Kasich for eating too zealously and Clinton for not "look[ing] presidential," Trump seemed to confuse the 2016 presidential race with the Miss Universe pageant he formerly owned:

"Do I look like a president? How handsome am I, right? How handsome?" Trump asked the crowd.

Forget Romeo + Juliet. The newest love affair to remember is Trump + Trump. This is certainly not the first time that his narcissism has made headlines. In case you'd forgotten or blocked the painful memories, let's review some of The Don's most egotistical quotes. Here are some of my his best qualities, according to himself.

He's #humble:

"In my life, there are two things I've found I'm very good at: overcoming obstacles and motivating good people to do their best work." (New York Magazine, 1987)

He gets along with everybody:

"I've always had a great relationship with the blacks." (2011)

He loves to enlighten us all - and speak in third person:

"You wouldn't even be hearing about the word immigration if it weren't for Donald Trump" (2015)

He's a model for self-esteem and positive self-image (because egos are for winners!):

"Show me someone without an ego, and I'll show you a loser -- having a healthy ego, or high opinion of yourself, is a real positive in life!" (2013)

...And people love him for it. Personally, I'm more inclined to run away screaming from Trump, but in his mind, he's Mr. Popular:

“Nobody gets as many standing ovations [as I do].” (2015)

And, of course, he's a chick magnet. Ladies, if you thought you were repulsed by him, think again. Apparently, we all want The Don, even if we don't realize it:

"All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me -- consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected." (2004)

Perhaps his outrageous sex appeal has to do with the size of his...hands:

[Referring to a comment made by Rubio] "And, he referred to my hands -- 'if they're small, something else must be small.' I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee." (2016)

So what do Trump and Kim Kardashian both have in common (besides the whole reality TV thing)? All-consuming self-love! We can (and should) protest Donald Trump and his pseudo-fascism all we want, but don't be surprised if he doesn't notice; he'll be too busy winking at himself in the mirror. How handsome, indeed.