Urban Dictionary states that a "Masshole: is one of two things. 1. For residents of Massachusetts, it is an earned title for driving faster, being reckless, cutting other drivers off often, and having no patience for other drivers on the road. 2. For non-residents of Massachusetts, it is a term of dislike for the people of Massachusetts that drive like an asshole.
Some people think Masshole is a bad thing to be called. I look at them and think, are you kidding me? You should be proud to be called that: we all live, breathe, and die for our teams. We have a reputation to uphold; the dunkies iced coffees in the wintah, the pride we have in our teams, bringing out the duck boats.
Urban Dictionary also defines Massholes by stating that “The most genuine Massholes are so ignorant and belligerent that they think Masshole is a compliment." A Masshole isn't a shitty driver. He/She may piss you off, but he/she ultimately gets there faster and without crashing. It's an acquired skill. A Masshole's car could be a brand new BMW or a beat-up 88 Chevy Caprice. I mean, My 78-year-old grandmother and I have matching 2002 Buicks. He/She also is probably smartah than anyone from any other state. Massachusetts is the smartest state in the country, but no shocker there.
Another thing Urban Dictionary says about Massholes is that “They talk fast, walk fast, drive fast, think fast, and no one gets their sense of humor, because it is dripping with sarcasm. We are proud of it, because we know that the rest of the country is too plebeian to understand the complexity of awesome that is us.” It’s damn true, and I’m not ashamed of it. No matter where this Masshole is from, Boston is their home. Boston is the heart of every Masshole. Boston is life. Why wouldn’t you want to be called a Masshole?
My aunt even got me a Massachusetts necklace and said “happy birthday, every Masshole needs one.” I must admit, I’m that person who gets an ice coffee even in a blizzard. Hell, this winter when we were snowed in for a week, classes were cancelled, and there was a driving ban, my roommate and I shoveled out our car just to make a dunkies run. To be honest, The “America runs on Dunkin’” campaign should have been revised to “Massachusetts runs on Dunkin’” if they were going to be accurate about it. I LOVE it when people hate on Brady. I almost want to throw my dunks at them, but you can’t waste that. You paid $2.66 for your medium iced regulah.
Masshole problems #9324: I went to the Red Sox game the day after the home opener, we were playing the Washington Nationals, and we still were chanting Yankees suck in the fifth inning.
