I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. I absolutely love him.
A year is honestly not even long enough, in my opinion, to be thinking about this kind of stuff, but I love him and wouldn't mind at all spending the rest of my life with him. I can say that with full confidence.
I dated some not so great men before my current boyfriend and said stuff about the future and referencing a life together, but I was super young and super dumb and so were they. I think I told myself during those past relationships that I wanted to be with them for a while, but knew I deserved more.
Now I'm with my wonderful boyfriend who treats me like a queen and respects me and my values and I couldn't appreciate him more.
We started out as friends and became close. There was just a day where we were hanging out and I just thought, wow I want more. There was something between us but nothing ever happened. I had to ask him why he never made a move and he said because he respected me too much and didn't want to lose me as a friend.
We get each other so well and have the same but also different beliefs. We support each other and make each other stronger.
So here is what freaks me out, marriage. My parents are happily married and so are his, but a lot of people get divorced. The divorce rate is so high now. I had tons of friends with divorced or extremely unhappy marriages and that's my biggest fear. Marriage is a scary thing and very serious. With titles and certificates, what if it doesn't work? And what if kids are involved? The dividing of the assets. It honestly terrifies me.
Life can change at a whim. Something so serious makes me wonder the worse. I really want it all to work out and I try to think positive because that is usually what I do, but wow. I just want it all to work out.
I always say "what if?" The what if changed to a "when" when my mother and I were talking about my boyfriend and she asked if he's the one. And for the first time in a long time, I could answer with "If that's how life ended up, I wouldn't be upset at all."
Mother and Father Nature costume
We both would absolutely love to end up with each other, we talk about the future. Some college relationship turned marriages work out, including between his own mother and father, and then some don't. I would love to one of the ones that do.
We both say "if we still are dating" when we talk about future plans like after graduation, moving in together, trips, and adopting pets. We just don't want to be disappointed if something bad happens.
Conor and I love each other so much and truly see a future with each other. But, when it comes to marriage, I just can't predict anything yet because I don't want my feelings to be crushed if we broke up. I would be so happy with my life if we ended up together.