How To Make Room For Your Final Love

How To Make Room For Your Final Love

The one that actually lasts
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My friend recently sent me something that was posted on social media and I instantly became overcome with feelings and emotions.

It said:

It's been said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime.
Yet, it's said that we need each of these loves for a different reason.
Often our first is when we are young, high school even. It's the idealistic love; the one that seems like the fairytales we are all read as children.
It's a love that looks right.
The second is supposed to be our hard love; the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved.
Sometimes it's unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even.
It's the love that we wished was right.
And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually comes dressed as all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be.
It's the love that just feels right.
Maybe we don't all experience these loves in this lifetime; but perhaps that's just because we aren't ready to.
Possibly maybe we need a whole lifetime to learn or maybe if we're lucky it only takes a few years.
And there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath.
Someone once told me they are the lucky ones; and perhaps they are.
But I kinda think that those who make it to their third love are really the lucky ones.
They are the ones who are tired of having to try and whose broken hearts lay beating in front of them wondering if there is just something inherently wrong with how they love.
But there's not; it's just a matter of if someone loves in the same way that they do or not.
And maybe there's something special about our first love, and something heartbreakingly unique about our second...but there's also just something about our third.
The one we never see coming.
The one that actually lasts.
The one that shows us why it never worked out before.
And it's that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you'll stumble into love.



















As I read this tears ran down my face. I have felt the first two loves one from high school and one with many many many lessons. The part where it says "the love we wished was right" woah did that hit home.

How many times did you wish the crazy, life lesson love would have been the right one? For me, I wanted that more than ever.

But want to know the most freeing part of that piece being over in your life? You get to make room for the third love, your final love, the love that is so unexpected.

I think I can speak for many girls when we say we have hung onto the second love for too long only hoping that it was worth it and that fairly tale from the first love would come alive in the second... but it never did, it never was supposed to. Instead, it was supposed to teach you something.

At first, the lessons don't seem to exist only the longing pain to be with that person and just hoping it would work out. Everyone would tell you one day you would say enough was enough but that day didn't seem to come for you for a long time. Then one day you decide just out of the blue that you are done longing for that love anymore, that you are finally ready for your third and final love.

When I realized it is was the day I started to love myself, respect myself and know what I deserved. It was the day I realized that enough was enough and that I deserved more. The only way I can describe it was free. Yes free, I was free from tears and pain; I was free from lies and longing for another opportunity.

I now get to make room for that third love, you know that love you see others have, that love you really wished you had. You deserve it but you have to allow yourself to let go of the second love first. I may not have it right now but I know it will be worth it.

Cover Image Credit: The Good Men Project

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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Being Ugly

What it means to me

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Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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