How To Make Room For Your Final Love

How To Make Room For Your Final Love

The one that actually lasts
66
views

My friend recently sent me something that was posted on social media and I instantly became overcome with feelings and emotions.

It said:

It's been said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime.
Yet, it's said that we need each of these loves for a different reason.
Often our first is when we are young, high school even. It's the idealistic love; the one that seems like the fairytales we are all read as children.
It's a love that looks right.
The second is supposed to be our hard love; the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved.
Sometimes it's unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even.
It's the love that we wished was right.
And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually comes dressed as all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be.
It's the love that just feels right.
Maybe we don't all experience these loves in this lifetime; but perhaps that's just because we aren't ready to.
Possibly maybe we need a whole lifetime to learn or maybe if we're lucky it only takes a few years.
And there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath.
Someone once told me they are the lucky ones; and perhaps they are.
But I kinda think that those who make it to their third love are really the lucky ones.
They are the ones who are tired of having to try and whose broken hearts lay beating in front of them wondering if there is just something inherently wrong with how they love.
But there's not; it's just a matter of if someone loves in the same way that they do or not.
And maybe there's something special about our first love, and something heartbreakingly unique about our second...but there's also just something about our third.
The one we never see coming.
The one that actually lasts.
The one that shows us why it never worked out before.
And it's that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you'll stumble into love.



















As I read this tears ran down my face. I have felt the first two loves one from high school and one with many many many lessons. The part where it says "the love we wished was right" woah did that hit home.

How many times did you wish the crazy, life lesson love would have been the right one? For me, I wanted that more than ever.

But want to know the most freeing part of that piece being over in your life? You get to make room for the third love, your final love, the love that is so unexpected.

I think I can speak for many girls when we say we have hung onto the second love for too long only hoping that it was worth it and that fairly tale from the first love would come alive in the second... but it never did, it never was supposed to. Instead, it was supposed to teach you something.

At first, the lessons don't seem to exist only the longing pain to be with that person and just hoping it would work out. Everyone would tell you one day you would say enough was enough but that day didn't seem to come for you for a long time. Then one day you decide just out of the blue that you are done longing for that love anymore, that you are finally ready for your third and final love.

When I realized it is was the day I started to love myself, respect myself and know what I deserved. It was the day I realized that enough was enough and that I deserved more. The only way I can describe it was free. Yes free, I was free from tears and pain; I was free from lies and longing for another opportunity.

I now get to make room for that third love, you know that love you see others have, that love you really wished you had. You deserve it but you have to allow yourself to let go of the second love first. I may not have it right now but I know it will be worth it.

Cover Image Credit: The Good Men Project

Popular Right Now

I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

863984
views

Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Stand In The Mirror

An exercise in self-love.

839
views

If you're reading this, then I want you to stop what you're doing right now, get up from wherever you're sitting, and go stand in the mirror.

Yes, that's right. Close your laptops, put down your phones, and walk to the closest bathroom, or vanity, or wherever else you can see your reflection the most clearly. Pretend like you're the only person in the world for a little while.

Are you there? Good.

Now I want you to look at yourself, very closely.

Start with your eyes. How beautiful they look underneath the light; you can see all their colors, just like a painting! Something that unique belongs in an art museum, don't you think?

Those eyes of yours have seen so many wonderful things. Think of all the sunsets they've allowed you to witness, all the times your best friends have grinned from ear-to-ear and all the books you've read.

Now, look at your lips. Think of all the lovely people they may have kissed, all the Thanksgiving dinners they've touched and all the funny faces they've helped you express.

Think all of the times they've opened to exude laughter and joy, to express awe and other associated feelings words cannot express.

Now it's time to examine your arms. Shrug your shoulders and admire the way they fall so gently at your sides, like water flowing from the mouth of a river. Think of all the wonderful things they've helped you to reach, of all the trees they've helped you climb and monkey bars they've helped you swing through. Think of all the people they've hugged, and all the dogs they've helped you pet.

Finally, move to your legs. Think of all the races they've helped you win, all the hurdles they've helped you jump through and all the lengths they've helped you swim.

Think of all the pristine places they've carried you to, and reflect upon all the places you'll soon be heading to.

Can't you see now that you're a masterpiece, dripping with color and beauty, emotion and experience, from every fiber of your being?

Related Content

Facebook Comments