My current relationship status isn't one that involves men, and I'm super okay with that. I've realized that all I really need in life is something I already have: macaroni and cheese. Here's why it's completely better than a boyfriend:
1. You don't have to pretend to be put-together, even in the beginning of your relationship.
There's no need to ever get out of your sweatpants or shower. Macaroni accepts you for who you are right away. You have no one to impress.
2. It will never be jealous when you eat other foods.
We all know you'll be back sooner or later.
3. Your friends will automatically get along.
There are no weird introductions to your S/O's friends (whom you may or may not like) because (most) everyone loves this dish. They're well-acquainted, and it's not likely anyone will disapprove of your relationship.
4. It can never be too cheesy.
It's easy for people to get weird and cringe-worthy when the cheese-factor comes out. However, with macaroni, the cheesier, the better.
5. It's a cheap date.
Come on, Kraft original Mac is, like, 89 cents per box. You can't beat that. Stock up.
6. There's no awkward stage - you've known each other your whole life.
You're probably not even as comfortable with your mother as you are when you have a whole box of Velveeta to yourself.
7. It will never ghost you.
Macaroni and Cheese is probably going to survive the apocalypse. It's really not going anywhere. No insecurity here.
8. It comes in enough varieties that you'll never get bored.
Sometimes you'll want to switch things up. Maybe you want Kraft Deluxe instead of Kraft original; maybe you want creamy Velveeta shells; maybe you want Spongebob shapes. Maybe you'll go so far as to get your hands dirty and make some homemade. There's no guilt, and you get the best of all worlds.
9. Life will never take you down a path that separates you.
Going to different colleges, moving to a different city nor a mid-life crisis can tear you apart. If you want the relationship to work, even if you're trying to make better diet choices, nothing will ever truly sever the bond you have or put you in a situation where "it just won't work."
10. No matter what size or shape it comes in, it's always going to satisfy you.
Always.
Because women have very serious needs. Take notes, boys.
