15 Aspects Of College Life That Will Make You Say ‘I Understand Nothing,’ As Told By Michael Scott

15 Aspects Of College Life That Will Make You Say ‘I Understand Nothing,’ As Told By Michael Scott

Because the quality of all school projects is measured against the excellence of the M. Scott production of "Threat Level Midnight."


I will be first to admit that I was incredibly behind one of the biggest cultural trends of my generation. Unlike almost every college student in America, I had (until recently) never seen "The Office." Over Christmas break, however, my brother (who has watched the show multiple times) and my sister (who was seeing it for the first time) convinced me to watch some with them - mostly by making me feel extremely left out that I had no idea what they were talking about. So, with nothing new on T.V. to watch, I did what every good 20-something does over a month-long holiday: turn to Netflix.

Needless to say, I watched the six-episode first season in one sitting. I was hooked. And horribly embarrassed that I had thus-far missed out on this cultural icon. But most of all, I was surprised at the applicability of the quotes of on Michael G. Scott. While he may be a painfully awkward character to watch, Michael Scott says some of the most relatable, and sometimes inspirational, things on the show. Here are 15 times that Michael Scott was perfectly relatable to all of us college students.

1. "Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information." 



Let's be honest. Every student - regardless of age - has lazily looked up a fact on Wikipedia rather than actually look for verified information. So choose to take the Scott-perspective: everyone is helping you do your work, to the best of their ability so obviously, it's the best information out there.

2. "Sometimes I'll start a sentence and not even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."



This is the way that most college essays are written. Especially scholarship applications, reflection essays, and self-evaluations.

3. "I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all and it's terrible." 



This is applicable in so many cases. Dining hall food. Homework. Dorm rooms. Group projects. Exams. Labs. Pick your poison.

4. "I'm not superstitious but I am a little-stitious." 



It's not superstitious to wear the same jersey to every school basketball game until March Madness. It's not insane to use the same pencil for every exam. Or to have a lucky interview outfit. Right?

5. "I love inside jokes. I'd love to be part of one someday."



For that time when the professor assigns groups for a project, and you get stuck with the pair of people that have been besties since freshman year.

6. "I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up I would definitely not go." 

missing it


So your theater friend (maybe even just acquaintance?) invited you to their one-person show, and you've already mentioned that you don't have any homework tonight. Does having to clean your car count as something coming up? I guess if you don't have a car, you're going to that play.

7. "Oh God. My mind is going a mile an hour."



When studying, we all reach this peak moment of mental speed where our brains cannot possibly fathom any more information. There is no higher speed of thought.

8. "Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?" 



Catchphrase of the mom-friend of your friend group.

9. "I. Declare. Bankruptcy!" 



This is how I pay off my student loans right? I just yell that several times?

10. "And I know exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do." 



I thought I was going to know what I was doing by the time I was in college. I would pick a major then get a job. Turns out there's a lot in the middle no one warns you about. You think you have a life plan: think again. What's that stat they tell you: all students change their major at least once? Everyone changes careers more than once? So basically, that's code for no one knows what's going on at all.

11. "Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five." 



The question we all want to ask the professor at least once in the semester.

12. "I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good." 

running away


Do you have an exam on Monday. Great! That means it's time to go on a spontaneous trip to a theme park. Or maybe re-watch "The Office"!

13. "Powerpoint." 



The key to every last-minute presentation. Have nothing to say? It doesn't matter, most people are looking at the images anyway. Or just a fun comment while pointing at others.

14. "The only thing that could make this day better is ice cream." 

ice cream


There is no exam failure, breakup, or lost job-offer that a gigantic tub of ice cream cannot at least begin to fix.

15. "Point is, don't listen to your critics. Listen to your fans." 

scarn shuffle


On an oddly inspirational note (and pieced in after a long analysis of "Antz" and "Bug's Life") Michael drops this little gem of wisdom. Surround yourself with people that love the you that you are and support your dreams, not people who want to change you with their negativity. And you can always dance off any negativity with the Scarn Shuffle.

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Why High School Musicals Should Be As Respected As Sports Programs Are

The arts are important, too.

When I was in middle school and high school, I felt like I lived for the musicals that my school orchestrated.

For those of you who don't know, a musical is an onstage performance wherein actors take on roles that involve singing, and often dancing, to progress the plot of the story. While it may sound a little bit nerdy to get up in front of an audience to perform in this manner, this is something you cannot knock until you try it.

For some reason, though, many public schools have de-funded arts programs that would allow these musicals to occur, while increasing the funding for sports teams. There are a few things that are being forgotten when sports are valued more than musical programs in high schools.

Much like athletic hobbies, an actor must try-out, or audition, to participate in a musical. Those best suited for each role will be cast, and those who would not fit well are not given a part. While this may sound similar to trying out for say, basketball, it is an apples to oranges comparison.

At a basketball try-out, those who have the most experience doing a lay-up or shooting a foul shot will be more likely to succeed, no questions asked. However, for an audition, it is common to have to learn a piece of choreography upon walking in, and a potential cast member will be required to sing a selected piece with only a few days of preparation.

There are many more variables involved with an audition that makes it that much more nerve-racking.

The cast of a school musical will often rehearse for several months to perfect their roles, with only several nights of performance at the end. Many sports practice for three or four days between each of their respective competitions. While this may seem to make sports more grueling, this is not always the case.

Musicals have very little pay-off for a large amount of effort, while athletic activities have more frequent displays of their efforts.

Athletes are not encouraged to but are allowed to make mistakes. This is simply not allowed for someone in a musical, because certain lines or entrances may be integral to the plot.

Sometimes, because of all the quick changes and the sweat from big dance numbers, the stage makeup just starts to smear. Despite this, an actor must smile through it all. This is the part of musicals that no sport has: introspection.

An actor must think about how he or she would respond in a given situation, be it saddening, maddening, frightening, or delightful. There is no sport that requires the knowledge of human emotion, and there is especially no sport that requires an athlete to mimic such emotion. This type of emotional exercise helps with communications and relationships.

Sports are great, don't get me wrong. I loved playing volleyball, basketball, track, and swimming, but there were no experiences quite like those from a musical. Sports challenge the body with slight amounts of tactic, while musicals require much physical and mental endurance.

The next time you hear someone say that it's “just a musical," just remember that musicals deserve as much respect as sports, since they are just as, if not more demanding.

Cover Image Credit: Cincinnati Arts

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10 Shows To Watch If You're Sick Of 'The Office'

You can only watch it so many times...


"The Office" is a great show, and is super easy to binge watch over and over again! But if you're like me and you're looking for something new to binge, why not give some of these a try? These comedies (or unintentional comedies) are a great way to branch out and watch something new.

1. "New Girl"

A show about a group of friends living in an apartment in a big city? Sound familiar? But seriously, this show is original and fresh, and Nick Miller is an icon.

2. "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"

Ya'll have been sleeping on this show. It's a musical comedy about a girl that follows her ex boyfriend across the country. I thought it sounded horrible so I put it off for WAY too long, but then I realized how incredible the cast, music, writing, and just EVERYTHING. It really brings important issues to light, and I can't say too much without spoiling it. Rachel Bloom (the creator of the show) is a woman ahead of her time.

3. "Jane the Virgin"

I know... another CW show. But both are so incredible! Jane The Virgin is a tongue-in-cheek comedy and parody of telenovelas. It has so many twists and turns, but somehow you find yourself laughing with the family.

4. "Brooklyn Nine-Nine"


Brooklyn Nine-Nine has been in popular news lately since its cancellation by Fox and sequential pickup by NBC. It's an amazing show about cops in, you guessed it, Brooklyn. Created by the amazing Michael Schur, it's a safe bet that if you loved "The Office" you'll also love his series "Brooklyn Nine-Nine".

5. "The Good Place"

Another series created by the talented Micael Schur, it's safe to say you've probably already heard about this fantasy-comedy series. With a wonderful cast and writing that will keep you on your toes, the show is another safe bet.

6. "Fresh Off The Boat"

Seriously, I don't know why more people don't watch this show. "Fresh Off The Boat" focuses on an Asian family living in Orlando in the mid 90s. Randall Parks plays a character who is the polar opposite of his character in "The Interview" (Yeah, remember that horrifying movie?) and Constance Wu is wonderful as always.

7. "Full House"

Why not go back to the basics? If you're looking for a nostalgic comedy, go back all the way to the early days of Full House. If you're a '98-'00 baby like me, you probably grew up watching the Tanner family on Nick at Night. The entire series is available on Hulu, so if all else fails just watch Uncle Jesse and Rebecca fall in love again or Michelle fall off a horse and somehow lose her memory.

8. "Secret Life of the American Teenager"

Okay, this show is not a comedy, but I have never laughed so hard in my life. It's off Netflix but it's still on Hulu, so you can watch this masterpiece there. Watch the terrible acting and nonsense plot twists drive this show into the ground. Somehow everyone in this school dates each other? And also has a baby? You just have to watch. It might be my favorite show of all time.

9. "Scrubs"

Another old show that is worth watching. If you ignore the last season, Scrubs is a worthwhile medical comedy about doctors in both their personal and medical life. JD and Turk's relationship is one to be jealous of, and one hilarious to watch. Emotional at times, this medical drama is superior to any medical drama that's out now.

10. "Superstore"

I was resistant to watch this one at first, because it looked cheesy. But once I started watching I loved it! The show is a workplace comedy, one you're sure to love if you can relate to working in retail. If you liked the Office, you'll like Superstore!

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