15 Aspects of the College Experience, As Described By Michael Scott

15 Aspects Of College Life That Will Make You Say ‘I Understand Nothing,’ As Told By Michael Scott

Because the quality of all school projects is measured against the excellence of the M. Scott production of "Threat Level Midnight."

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I will be first to admit that I was incredibly behind one of the biggest cultural trends of my generation. Unlike almost every college student in America, I had (until recently) never seen "The Office." Over Christmas break, however, my brother (who has watched the show multiple times) and my sister (who was seeing it for the first time) convinced me to watch some with them, mostly by making me feel extremely left out that I had no idea what they were talking about. So, with nothing new on TV to watch, I did what every good 20-something does over a month-long holiday: turn to Netflix.

Needless to say, I watched the six-episode first season in one sitting. I was hooked. And horribly embarrassed that I had thus-far missed out on this cultural icon. But most of all, I was surprised at the applicability of the quotes of on Michael G. Scott. While he may be a painfully awkward character to watch, Michael Scott says some of the most relatable, and sometimes inspirational, things on the show. Here are 15 times that Michael Scott was perfectly relatable to all of us college students.

1. "Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information." 

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Let's be honest. Every student — regardless of age — has lazily looked up a fact on Wikipedia rather than actually look for verified information. So choose to take the Scott-perspective: everyone is helping you do your work, to the best of their ability so obviously, it's the best information out there.

2. "Sometimes I'll start a sentence and not even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."

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This is the way that most college essays are written. Especially scholarship applications, reflection essays, and self-evaluations.

3. "I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all and it's terrible." 

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This is applicable in so many cases. Dining hall food. Homework. Dorm rooms. Group projects. Exams. Labs. Pick your poison.

4. "I'm not superstitious but I am a little-stitious." 

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It's not superstitious to wear the same jersey to every school basketball game until March Madness. It's not insane to use the same pencil for every exam. Or to have a lucky interview outfit. Right?

5. "I love inside jokes. I'd love to be part of one someday."

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For that time when the professor assigns groups for a project, and you get stuck with the pair of people that have been besties since freshman year.

6. "I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up I would definitely not go." 

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So your theater friend (maybe even just acquaintance?) invited you to their one-person show, and you've already mentioned that you don't have any homework tonight. Does having to clean your car count as something coming up? I guess if you don't have a car, you're going to that play.

7. "Oh God. My mind is going a mile an hour."

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When studying, we all reach this peak moment of mental speed where our brains cannot possibly fathom any more information. There is no higher speed of thought.

8. "Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?" 

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Catchphrase of the mom-friend of your friend group.

9. "I. Declare. Bankruptcy!" 

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This is how I pay off my student loans right? I just yell that several times?

10. "And I know exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do." 

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I thought I was going to know what I was doing by the time I was in college. I would pick a major then get a job. Turns out there's a lot in the middle no one warns you about. You think you have a life plan: think again. What's that stat they tell you: all students change their major at least once? Everyone changes careers more than once? So basically, that's code for no one knows what's going on at all.

11. "Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five." 

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The question we all want to ask the professor at least once in the semester.

12. "I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good." 

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Do you have an exam on Monday. Great! That means it's time to go on a spontaneous trip to a theme park. Or maybe re-watch "The Office"!

13. "Powerpoint." 

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The key to every last-minute presentation. Have nothing to say? It doesn't matter, most people are looking at the images anyway. Or just a fun comment while pointing at others.

14. "The only thing that could make this day better is ice cream." 

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There is no exam failure, breakup, or lost job-offer that a gigantic tub of ice cream cannot at least begin to fix.

15. "Point is, don't listen to your critics. Listen to your fans." 

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On an oddly inspirational note (and pieced in after a long analysis of "Antz" and "Bug's Life") Michael drops this little gem of wisdom. Surround yourself with people that love the you that you are and support your dreams, not people who want to change you with their negativity. And you can always dance off any negativity with the Scarn Shuffle.

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A Letter To My Freshman Dorm Room As I Pack Up My Things

Somehow a 15' x 12' room became a home.

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Dear Geary 411,

With your creaky beds, concrete walls, and mismatched tile floors, you are easily overlooked as just another room we were randomly assigned to— but you were different. Inside your old walls, I have made some of the best memories of my life that I will hold on to forever.

Thank you for welcoming my neighbors in with open arms who quickly became friends who didn't knock and walked in like you were their own.

I feel like an apology is needed.

We're sorry for blaring the music so loud while getting ready and acting like we can actually sing when, in reality, we know we can't. Sorry for the dance parties that got a bit out of control and ended with us standing on the desks. Sorry for the cases of the late-night giggles that came out of nowhere and just would not go away. Sorry for the homesick cries and the "I failed my test" cries and the "I'm dropping out" cries. We're sorry for hating you at first. All we saw was a tiny and insanely hot room, we had no idea what you would bring to us.

Thank you for providing me with memories of my first college friends and college experiences.

As I stand at the door looking at the bare room that I first walked into nine months ago I see so much more than just a room. I see lots and lots of dinners being eaten at the desks filled with stories of our days. I see three girls sitting on the floor laughing at God knows what. I see late night ice cream runs and dance battles. I see long nights of homework and much-needed naps. Most importantly, I look at the bed and see a girl who sat and watched her parents leave in August and was absolutely terrified, and as I lock you up for the last time today, I am so proud of who that terrified girl is now and how much she has grown.

Thank you for being a space where I could grow, where I was tested physically, mentally and emotionally and for being my home for a year.

Sincerely,

A girl who is sad to go

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5 Songs to Add to Your Playlist This Month

Spring into finals week (and the summer) by "cleaning up" your playlist

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Here are some fun, fresh new tracks to check out as you finish out the rest of the school year and help you get out of your "music comfort zone!"

“Patience” by Tame Impala 

Genre: Electronic/Alternative

Tame Impala FINALLY released new music (!!), and this track is absolutely stunning. With frontrunner Kevin Parker staying on brand with the band's psychedelic, seemingly ethereal style, it sounds like a combination of 70s soft rock and waves of modern-day electronica, with Parker's voice drifting in and out in a kind of otherworldly, mellowed-out manner.

“Harmony Hall” by Vampire Weekend 

Genre: Alternative/Indie Pop

Vampire Weekend is also releasing an album, entitled "Father of the Bride", on May 3rd. From the looks of it, this track relates to the theme of marriage/weddings present in the album's title, and it is a fun, upbeat song that I have been listening to a lot in the morning as I'm getting ready for class! Ezra Koenig's voice is so unique and can cover a broad range, and I highly recommend listening to some of the band's other work as well ("Step" from their 2013 release "Modern Vampires of the City" is one of my all-time favorite songs!).

“Ready to Let Go” by Cage the Elephant 

Genre: Alternative/Alternative Rock

So many great artists are (finally) releasing new albums this year, and Cage the Elephant falls into this category. This track is an absolute banger and doesn't stray much from the band's style in that it includes a lot of loud guitar and dynamic vocals. Like Vampire Weekend, Cage the Elephant has been around since the early 2000s, and I highly recommend checking out some of their earlier work as well (big fan of their most recent album, actually!)

“Apple Orchard” by Beach House 

Genre: Indie/Electronic

Beach House is one of my favorite bands of all time, as I find a kind of an ethereal, beautiful sadness in the dreamy style of instrumentalist Alex Scally and lucid vocals of singer Victoria Legrand. This track is from their 2006 self-titled debut and is probably one of my favorite songs they've ever released. The lyrics are poetic and perfect for the post-finals enjoyment of spring weather, in that they preach relaxation and restfulness, and the song's electronic rhythms echo the essence of spring as well. If you like this song, then I highly recommend checking out the band's other albums as well (Depression Cherry is one of my favorite albums of all time).

“April Come She Will” by Simon & Garfunkel 

Genre: 60s Pop

No spring playlist is complete without a little Simon & Garfunkel! This song is a classic, its timeless, poetic lyrics capturing the epitome of the coming of spring and all its glory. In fact, I consider the entire album (entitled Sound of Silence) to be perfect for the pleasantness and feelings of renewal/natural revitalization associated with the coming months, so be sure to give it a listen if you haven't heard it before!

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