Single life has become a joke across social media. It is shamed as the lonely life, and we often feel as though we should feel guilty for this sometimes inevitable period in our lives. Being single means no one to go to the movies with, no date nights at fancy restaurants, and no cute couple selfies. However, I think I get just as many likes, if not more, on any of my Instagram posts from my travels or even my dog than I used to when I posted with my ex.
The single life is arguably the greatest time in anyone’s life, and possibly the most important. This isn’t a time to wallow in your loneliness and hate on everyone that reminds you that you aren’t a couple; this is the time to be you. The most important person in your life should always be yourself, not some guy or gal that promises to love you forever until forever ends in whatever horrible way it was this time.
Not every relationship is bad, and I don’t mean to trash talk them entirely. Plenty of people find their soul mate, and it ends happily ever after. You can’t find that person, though, with jumping from person to person, waiting on one to workout. I know I will find that special guy someday, but I don’t want to sit around like a puppy dog waiting for him to walk into my life to make everything perfect.
I can make my life perfect on my own; not only can I, but I have to. Considering this is my life, I am the only one responsible for it. Being single is actually a gift, a time to do stuff for yourself for once, and not anyone else. You don’t have to worry about someone else's day, consider their schedule, or pretend to enjoy their hobbies. You can hit your favorite restaurants, see your favorite movies, and discover new things you actually like to do. Find the things that make you happy. Nobody else will ever be able to do that for you.
This time should be the greatest time of your life because the only thing that matters is you. I've been single for almost a year now, and I couldn't be more thankful for the experiences I have gained over this time. I have been able to travel to numerous places I never thought I would, on my own no less; I have found the true happiness of sitting in a movie theatre on my own on a Tuesday afternoon, and learned what things are most important to me.
When my mind was clouded by a relationship, I had to give, like anyone does. A little here, a little more there, until I forgot how much I loved working out. Something that had been a part of my daily routine slipped away because I was consumed by a guy. I didn’t spend as much time with my family, the most important people in my life. I know now that if I want to be happy, I need to do all these things. I need to take the time to read a book every now and then, stay focused in school so I can get the degree I've been dreaming of, and work at places because I love the job, not just because it fits my schedule. Part of me shames myself for neglecting my dog so much when I dated, because seeing her face alone can put a smile on my face all day, forget all our coffee runs and the times she actually comes running with me.
If you don’t truly take this time to find yourself, as clichéd as it sounds, you can’t truly be happy when you do meet the right person. Everyone wants a best friend to spend the rest of their life with, but we often forget about the one person more important than that: you. We have to put ourselves first, and if we can take this amazing opportunity life often grants us, we can do exactly that.
No one wants to be alone for the rest of their lives, but that isn't because we need to be with someone or the world ends. We all just want to be happy, and we tend to believe happiness stems from positive relationships, dating, and marriage. If we don't know how to be happy on our own though, how can we expect anyone else to do this for us?
In the words of the acclaimed ultimate single girl, Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City, "Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first." Surround yourself with the friends that matter, do the things that make you happy, and find the life you want to live. If you aren't happy by yourself, you will never be happy with someone else. No one else can do this for you, so let's take a chance on ourselves and ride the single life out the best way we can.
After all, you should always be your number one priority. Never forget that.
