"I like being alone. I have control over my own life. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to feel better than my solitude. You're not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zones." -Horacio Jones
Just because I love you doesn't mean I depend on you. I chose you. I want you in my life, but I do not need you. Don't get the two confused. I can love you as much and even more than I love myself, but I will never be emotionally or mentally dependent on you because that's not fair for you. It is an incredible burden to carry and I don't expect to carry yours either. We'll carry it together and share our lives and make the load a little lighter.
If there is one thing I have learned in my 20 years, it's that I have to love myself and learn to be alone before I can ever love and share my life with someone else. I have to experience my own independence and learn about myself as a person because I am mine before I am ever anyone else's. I do not need a man to make me whole because I am not a half, or to give me permission to pursue my dreams. I can love you to the ends of this earth, but I should never let my happiness or self worth depend on you. I am my own person and no one should hold my happiness except myself... read that again. Let it sink in.
Now, I'm not saying I can never ever depend on another person for something or that they can't bring happiness into my life. Because sometimes we fall and stumble, and that's what our person is here for... to help us stand back up. They guide us back to where we need to be. It's like a kid learning to ride a bicycle. The parents are there to hold the back of it for them and to pick them up when they fall off, but eventually the kid gets the hang of it. They can ride it all by themselves and that's when the parents let go, watching him/her experience this new adventure. It's the same thing. You are there to guide me and walk beside me while cheering me on from the sidelines as I follow my dreams. And I should be doing the same for you.
When it comes down to it, I know that I am here and I am important. I should never have to chase after someone to prove that I matter. I have taken time for myself and learned be alone with my thoughts, and ultimately, I have become a more self-aware person. I realized that I have a creative soul with so much to offer. Too often, we forget where we came from or where we're going. I can love you without letting you hold every single ounce of me in your hands and I should never hold all of you in mine either. That is far too much to carry because as humans, we make mistakes and we drop things and damaging others emotionally is a lot worse than just dropping a glass plate.
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
Never hesitate to love yourself, but also don't be afraid to love someone else more. Find contentment in the solitude of your mind, but don't be afraid to let someone else in. Create happiness in your life, but you should also allow someone to share theirs in yours. We were never created to be alone, but to be with people. We were called to love others and love ourselves. But there has to be a balance. That's why just because you love someone should not mean that you depend on them in every single aspect of your whole life. So, love people and love them hard. Share happiness and good times. But never forget to fall in love with yourself first.
