Loving a girl with anxiety is like trying to stop gravity. She might be your mother, your girlfriend, your wife, best friend, daughter, niece, cousin, and coworker. Whatever she is, she is like a speeding train that literally can’t be stopped sometimes. Here are some things you should know about loving the girl with anxiety.
1. It’s not just in her head. She feels it in her chest, whether it feels like her lungs are going to collapse or her heart is beating faster than it should. Whether it’s those terrible headaches or the ache in her stomach. It’s not just in her thoughts, it’s all over her body.
2. She will never be “fixed.” She can learn to control it and how to handle it, but it will always, ALWAYS be a part of her. Whether she chooses therapy or medicine, it will never stop, it will only get better.
3. It helps her to talk, but she may not always know how. Just listen to her and be there. Offer her a hug and never force her to talk if she doesn’t want to. Sometimes there is no explanation for it.
4. Don’t get mad when she asks you things over and over. She is obviously bothered by it so, therefore, she needs to hear you say over and over that it’s going to be okay even if you’ve told her 100 times already.
5. Don’t ever tell her she overreacting or it’s “just in her head.” Yes, she is overreacting and yes, it’s just in her head and that’s just the problem! Don’t ever make her feel like a bother because of something she really can’t help it.
6. Don’t judge her. Never ever make her feel like a burden or not believe her. Listen to her. Be there for her. Love her. But please never judge her.
7. The triggers of her anxiety are sometimes really stupid. But never tell her that! Just tell her it’s going to be okay no matter how irrational she is being.
8. Be patient with her. Never give up on her because of her anxiety. She will be able to control it sometimes but other times she can’t. Just let her know that no matter what you’re there.
9. Don't try and fix her. Let her fix herself and let her do it in her own time. She doesn't need you to save her, she needs to save herself.
Anxiety is an extremely hard thing to deal with. It’s like having a constant battle with what you know versus what your anxiety wants you to think. It can literally tear you apart and distract you. For people who love someone with anxiety it can be extremely hard to get through to them. I hope these tips are helpful, as I’m writing from firsthand experience of dealing with anxiety in my daily life.
