I’m sure you’ve all heard the cliche saying “You can’t love someone without loving yourself," and even if you haven’t, you should really look into the reasons and ways to love yourself before you can ever love another in a healthy, communicative relationship. Despite the saying, many people do love someone else without genuinely loving themselves. Flight attendants always tell you to put your masks on before helping others with theirs. Why? Because you can’t help others if you can’t breathe. Self-love works the same way. You cannot give love to others if you don’t have that love for yourself. You cannot truly appreciate someone else if you don't truly appreciate yourself. And you can't give yourself fully to someone else if you don't have the comfort of loving yourself first.
Life doesn't always work out the way that we want. We fall for jerks, we trust the wrong people, life happens. But when you love yourself, and you walk away from someone that doesn't love you the way you deserve, you're okay. You're okay without someone else because you value yourself. You're comfortable with yourself. If someone happens to come into your life that makes you better, then go for it. But know your value.
I don’t know about you, but I enjoy my life right now and I am enjoying the relationship I am building with myself. I have realized that I don’t need someone else to fulfill every single need and expectation I have in life because I can do that for myself.
What a lot of people need to hear is that self-love is not selfish. Self-love is not cockiness or being stuck up. Self-love is about connecting to your innermost needs, celebrating the freedom of being you and honoring who you truly are while dropping your destructive patterns. Self- love is about getting to know yourself before you let someone else get to know you. Loving yourself is truly magical—it’s a divine relationship that will help you radically improve every single aspect of your life.
“We only accept the love we think we deserve.” How many times have you heard that? Probably a lot, but there's a lot of truth to it. You deserve someone who loves you the morning after a night out when your mascara is smudged and your hair is in knots. You deserve someone who remembers that you like ranch with your pizza, and buys it for you when you’re caught in the sweaty grips of a hangover. You deserve someone who takes the time to learn all your insecurities, small and large, and what experiences in your life led you to have them. You deserve someone who doesn’t judge you for your bad days, someone who loves you regardless — someone who offers up assurance, not through their words, but through their actions. You deserve someone who thinks the little bit of fat at the bottom of your stomach is perfect, and loves the slight dimple in your thigh — because you have flaws, and so do they.
You deserve someone who makes you feel beautiful, someone who makes you feel special the way you are.
And in good time, chances are that you’ll find that person one day. Maybe years from now, maybe tomorrow.
But for now, that person has to be you.
