Recently I've made some pretty drastic changes in my lifestyle and have been very content with the outcomes.
I started eating a little bit more healthy. I take supplements. I exercise at least 3 times a week, trying for 4-5 times. I take pride in my relationship with God and with my family, and boyfriend. I put a whole lot more effort into my education.
These are all great changes; wonderful things that I have moved forward in over the past year. I always feel like it's not enough. Something is missing. Something isn't right. I have to do more. I need to be better.
Having these kinds of thoughts are not healthy. I've come to realize that I can't be perfect, and don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with striving for perfection, but if it's unattainable, why kill yourself over trying to be perfect?
I don't want to make New Year's resolutions, they've become easy and overrated. I want to change my mindset. I want to create a new me. I want to be more, because I'm less. I know that might not make sense, but let me explain.
I accepted a job as EIC for odyssey, I offered to help friends with their new businesses, I offered to help edit essays, help people study for tests, sure, I can hang out later after I work out, eat, shower, attempt to do homework. While all these things are great, when have I ever said no? When have I ever just stopped, looked at my schedule and been like, "Rebecca, it's too much, you're going to crash!" I haven't.
My boyfriend told me I need to learn to say NO. I need to stand up for myself and learn when enough is enough. Yes it's amazing to be involved in lots of events and occasions, and always with friends, and doing adventurous things; It's not worth it when you hate yourself because you have no time to just stop and breath and plan out an hour of solitude, even ten minutes. It's never okay to go days without self-care, and it's definitely not okay to never put yourself first.
I don't want to sound selfish, but honestly, how far do you think you can stretch yourself before there is nothing left to give?
Everyone tells me I have a big heart, and that I love unconditionally, that I'm a good friend, a wonderful girlfriend, a great daughter, a good student. Everyone says I have so much love for people, but when was the last time I looked in the mirror and told myself that I loved being me, that I loved myself. When was the last time that I showed myself that I am loved, and that I am worth being loved.
When was the last time you told yourself how much you loved being you? When was last time you put yourself first, and took care of your mental health, you physical health, your sanity?
I'm not saying be selfish. I am advising that you love yourself first, so that you can love others more.
