Let's be honest: We are all looking for love. Isn't that one of the most genuine things that we crave? We envision that perfect lover, and the way they can make us feel and add value to our lives. However, on the journey for love we almost always forget or simply overlook the one thing we have true control over in our lives: Ourselves. These are the three pieces of advice about love I wish I advice I wish I had received years ago.
1. You cannot expect someone else to love you until you truly love yourself.
This may be one of the most difficult conversations you will have with yourself but it's so essential. Do you love yourself? Do you think you are a good person? Do you demonstrate your love for yourself on a daily basis? Are you kind to yourself in your mind? I know you are worthy of love, but you must first believe in it yourself. Do you even know yourself and what you stand for enough to love yourself? This is where the next piece of advice comes in.
2. You will not find the best person for you if you are not at your best first.
We all have self improvements we can focus on and many of these will not be successfully handled over night. However, just being aware of aspects of your personality that you want more control of creates a better person. Work on the inside of your heart every day and you will know your true worth, thus knowing your value and what you can bring to a relationship. This is so important to help you protect yourself from the users and abusers of the world.
3. You will not be happy with someone unless you can first create true happiness in yourself.
This was the most difficult thing for me to accept. I thought the only thing my life could possibly be missing was that great love we all daydream about. That is nowhere near the case. Another physical bodily presence in your life will not bring happiness into your life unless you are happy being alone and where you are at in life.
Ever seen "The Perks of Being a Wallflower?" My favorite quote about love comes from it.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
“Can we make them know that they deserve more?”
“We can try.”
It's mostly my favorite because it places the blame on the person seeking love. You are the only one who gets to determine the value of the love you receive. The best determining factors of that love is the how much you love yourself, value yourself and the happiness you can create in yourself. I wish I knew years ago that to find the love I dream of, I first needed to focus on myself.
