The other day I overheard a conversation between two girls in my class. One girl asked her friend, “Why do you think no one loves me?” and the other girl responded, “Because you don’t love yourself.” It kind of hurt my heart a little to hear that but maybe that’s what she needed to hear from her friend.
It hurts me to think that women or even men my age think they aren’t good enough to be loved. First of all, we’re still in college so love will happen, it may happen tomorrow, it may happen years from now, or may not happen until you’re 50 years old but it will happen.
I feel like there is this ultimate pressure for people my age to need a relationship to define them, their path, their happiness, who they are, and what there is to love about them. I feel like young adults think if they don’t have a relationship by the time they turn 30 then they have missed their magical fairy-tale ending, which leads into why they question what is wrong with them and it’s… just sad. I am in a relationship because I am happy. I don’t need it to love myself. I’m in it because I first loved myself and know I want to love someone else.
So love yourself, be arrogant, and cocky right?— No, What I mean by that is that you should be confident in who you and what there is to love about you, be happy with yourself, even your flaws, love yourself. Plus if you are comfortable and confident with who you are, it's attractive. Know your worth and don’t expect to find your worth in how someone else makes you feel about yourself.
The healthiest of relationships occur between two people who are comfortable with themselves first and then in addition to on another. Love can develop through happiness between two people after making your own happiness a top priority.
We are so scared to accept our flaws, to be comfortable with them, to learn to love them that we often fall in love just hoping for the other person to love us and make us feel better—that’s for the wrong reasons.
We must first realize that we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of someone else. When you love someone, you cherish them, take care of them, you do anything that makes them happy. The bible tells us that love is kind, patient, protecting, and hoping. If God believes that someone else can deserve all of that from you, don’t YOU deserve that from YOU?
You have to take care of you, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually first so that you can share all of that with another person. You can expect to find all of that balance in someone else for yourself. How can someone see all there is to love about you, if you don’t?
Do yourself a favor, love yourself, and as you do love will come to you.
