Love is undefinable, and we all experience it in different ways.
Some good, some bad- but no matter the experience, we all search for it rather than letting it come to us. We settle for relationships that we know aren't good enough. We settle for people that don't make us happy. We are a generation of settlers, that settle for mediocre love. Why are we settling for love? The answer is simple. Because we aren't ready for it. Why? Because we don't even love ourselves. We search for love before we even search for ourselves, because we believe that love is equal to happiness. We believe that love is what makes you find yourself, because someone else has found you. The truth is, you won't find the love that you're searching for until you find yourself first. There is a world of people out there, but there is only one you- and once you realize who you are, everything else falls into place. If you don't love yourself yet, that's okay but I want you to read these next few paragraphs carefully- because its time you did.
Loving yourself doesn't happen overnight. It's not something that you decide you're going to do and then the next day you're a walking example of it. Like anything, it takes time but when it happens, you'll wake up every morning happier and healthier. You first have to realize who you are. Who you are is not what others think you are, but rather who you are on the inside. The you that is hidden from the world out of fear of rejection. Often we pretend to be something that we are not because we want to feel "accepted," but that is the mentality that you need to get rid of. The only person that needs to accept you, is you.
And to accept yourself, you have to stop caring about what others think of you. One thing being a girl's has taught me is that people will always judge you. No matter what you do, wear, say, think or even feel- someone is always going to judge you. Stop caring what others think, because the only opinion that should matter is your own. You don't need to look in the mirror and only see your flaws. You don't need to put on layers of makeup because of one imperfection. You don't need to stop eating because you're not a size 2. Love yourself the way you are, and the right people will love you for who you are too.
You need to put yourself first. Sometimes it's okay to be completely selfish and put your needs before others. Work on you and bettering yourself before you try to do that with someone else. Work on getting good grades in school. Go to the gym. Eat healthy. Find your dream job. Get everything you ever wanted and watch yourself glow with confidence. Having everything put together makes it a lot easier to attract someone with the same goals and ambitions as you- you need a man, not a boy; because you're a woman, not a babysitter.
You need to be independent. Being independent is not only sexy, but also completely gratifying. There is nothing more attractive than a woman who has her shit together and knows it. But being independent is more than just having it together. Being independent means your doing things you love because you can. You're taking that trip to Italy you always wanted to go on. You're taking cooking classes just because you can. You're going to Zumba on Thursdays, and to the Winery on Fridays. You're living happy and free, and nothing is more beautiful than that.
Most importantly, just be yourself. Be the girl that dances around the house like nobody is watching even if there are people watching. Be the girl that isn't afraid to tell a good joke. Be the girl who laughs out loud, and sings even louder. Be the girl who dances while she drives. But if you can be anything, just be you. Don't let society tell you who you are, or what you should be or look like. Beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. What truly makes a woman beautiful is her character, her intelligence, her kindness and her authenticity. What makes a woman even more beautiful is when she loves herself more than anyone else could ever love her. Once you reach that point in your life, you'll find real, burning, passionate love with someone who will realize what you're worth, and never let go. So stop settling. Stop feeling like you need someone to love you.
The only love you need is your own, and it's the best kind of love to have.
