Just because you are nice doesn't mean someone has the right to take advantage of you. I have always been told that I need to stop being extremely kind to people considering I am letting them walk all over me like a doormat; that I need to stop apologizing, feeling bad for saying no, and allowing people take me for granted. I never realized how much this trait of mine altered the course of my life until now.
Learn that it is perfectly fine to say no.
Ever since a young age I have found that I have a hard time saying no to people. If I am passionate about something, i.e. not smoking or drinking, I am perfectly capable of saying no, thank you. However, when it comes to the moments when somebody asks for help, wants me to take their work shift, go out shopping, or pay two dollars towards an organization, I can't say no. It is a terrible habit, but one that has been brought to my attention multiple times by my friends.
Do not feel that you owe anybody anything.
Many people may give you the impression that there are conditions attached to your friendship and you owe them. You don't. This is your life and just because your friend couldn't go to Chick-Fil-A with you doesn't mean you are obligated to order them nuggets and fries. No, I am not saying that if there is that one time you want to do something kind you shouldn't. I have a tendency to not follow this - EVERY TIME. It doesn't matter if this is the twentieth time this friend couldn't escape the world of college to go get a bite to eat, I still manage to buy them food without as little as a thank you. Don't allow someone to mooch off of you - again, you don't owe anybody anything.
Don't feel ashamed to have YOU time.
I am an introvert. Yes, I am more outgoing when I get to know someone; however, I need "me" time. It doesn't mean I don't like you or don't want to spend time with you. It just means I need time to wind down, get my thoughts straight, and breathe without ten other conversations going on around me. The problem is the slightest change of someone's voice or look on their face makes me feel terrible that I am spending time alone. Stop. It is completely understandable that you can't be in the presence of someone every single minute of every day. Explain to them that you need a little time to yourself. Don't ignore your need to be alone to accommodate the needs of others.
You deserve happiness
Throughout this article all these thoughts funnel to one phrase - you deserve happiness. Maybe you enjoy spending your money on others and that is why you can't help but spend it. Maybe you understand that people have insecurities and that's why you limit your alone time to ensure them that you do love them. Maybe you honestly can't help but always say yes because you feel the need to please people. But if there comes a time in your life when all these limit the most important part of life, happiness, then you need to take a step back and find what truly matters to you and hopefully in the end it's you.
