"Cancer does not have a face, until it's yours or someone you know." -Anthony Del Monte
“The doctors say he’ll have four months left. With treatment, he could have twelve.” The words echo in my head repeatedly. No one wants to hear their loved one now has a time limit. How are you supposed to move on and act like everything is going to be okay? No matter what, those words will echo in your head, and it will seem impossible to move past the idea that sooner or later that person won’t be in your life anymore. No one can prepare you for it. Sooner, rather than later, someone will lose their father, mother, brother, sister, grandfather, grandmother, etc. There’s nothing anyone can do about it; that’s the worst part of it all.
In the first few days after receiving the news that someone you love now has a time limit, you’re unsure what to do. Your first thought is to go find them immediately and be with them while everyone begins to digest the news. Tears begin to fall, and moods begin to drastically change. Everyone begins to fully understand what is about to happen. You conclude that you will do everything in your power to make the last few months the best they’ve ever had, but it will always remain in your head that the end result is inevitable.
The worst part about knowing there is a time limit, is knowing that eventually time will run out. Sure, everyone’s time eventually runs out and God needs us down here on Earth to come with him, wherever he may be. The one question that will continuously come into your mind is, “Why?” I’ll never understand why God chooses the people he does. It would be so much easier if no one ever died; but unfortunately, that’s not how life works. Dying is a part of the cycle, but it doesn’t make it any easier. The thing about dying is the person who dies doesn’t have to feel sad. They are away from this terrible world where we are all beginning to turn against each other. A world becoming fueled by hate and differences. They are now in a better place. At least, that’s what everyone will tell you to try and offer some comfort. They don’t have to feel sad, but everyone they left behind feels broken and empty.
How do you deal with the feeling that you’ve lost a part of you? The real answer that no one will give you is that it never truly goes away. You will always feel that part of you is gone. However, it does get better. With time, that feeling will get less and less, but it will never truly go away. The best thing to do is surround yourself with family and enjoy the days you have left.
Grief may not go away immediately, but it will go away in time. Hang onto those memories you have with your loved one as they will be some of the only lights of happiness that you have for a while. Surround yourself with friends and family and try to keep yourself busy. Most of all, remember that everything happens for a reason and it is not a "goodbye," only a "see you later."
