The title of this article may sound deceiving when you read the first paragraph but bear with me.
I had heart surgery about two weeks ago. For me, I was excited about it, because my situation with my heart was driving me insane. For others around me, they were scared for me.
Trust me, I have watched enough Grey's Anatomy to know that the surgeons are basically Gods. I assured everyone that I would be okay, and everything would be okay afterward.
However, as my surgery date grew closer, I could feel the nervousness throughout my body. For a second, I was scared for my life. I thought "why me?" or "I literally hate my life so much" or "why can't one thing go right in my life?" I started to second guess this whole surgery thing.
It was a Tuesday morning when my surgery was scheduled. I was sweating. My mom kept asking me if I was nervous and I kept saying no. In all honesty, I was very nervous. The last thing I remember before was the anesthetist saying "okay Ta'lor, just take deep breaths and you'll be awake before you know it."
The surgery was about 2.5 hours long. I was loopy as Hell. Apparently, I asked the nurse if I was okay to go to the club? On a Tuesday? With incisions on both sides of my groin? High Ta'lor is a brave Ta'lor.
Once that wore off, I asked my mom for my phone. I had about 56 different text messages, 34ish snapchats, and an overwhelming amount of notifications on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
My heart stopped. Not actually of course, because I just got it fixed. The amount of love that I received that day made me hate my high school self.
I was really going to end my life back then because I thought no one cared about me. I am SO thankful that I waited it out because now I am at a point in my life where I actually love waking up. Why was I scared of this surgery in the first place?
My best friend came to my recovery room that night when it was icing and snowing at the same time. She came just to make sure I was okay. Could she have just called me? Yes. But she took the time out of her night to come and see me. That bitch really had the nerve though to ask if she could take out all three of my IVs... it was a no from me.
I was exhausted when I finally got to go home. However, the next day, I texted everyone back, thanking them. The crazy part is that it wasn't people that I have known for years. It was people that I had just met or have only known for a month or so.
A friend of mine came over that day and brought me chocolate covered strawberries. In my head, I was thinking "maybe I should have this surgery every week." Another friend of mine came over and brought me the sweetest card along with the greatest note that I have ever received. Might as well marry him, am I right?
Last but not least, another one of my GREAT friends brought me flowers, candy, a note (with poems included), and a Sprite. Three visitors in one day, you'd think I'm Demi Lovato or something. It warmed my heart to think that these people took time out of their busy schedules to come to spend some time with me afterward.
I am not kidding, when I say that things will get better and you will get out of that dark place, I absolutely mean it. I still get an overwhelming amount of check-ins.
Remove toxic people from your life and replace them with people who allow you to grow and who make you into a better person. You need people in your life that are willing to check up on you. Especially in today's times. The world is crazy and the people I have in my life are the biggest blessings. I definitely lucked out.