#Love: A Response To Modern Dating

#Love: A Response To Modern Dating

I can't wait to meet my soulmate through an app on my phone.
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I honestly hate dating. I think it’s this weird concept of going to places with complete strangers, hoping that this person will be “the one.” Of course, I know it’s necessary. This isn’t the 19th century anymore where gentlemen had to court a woman under the watchful eye of her parents or where arranged marriages were by the dozen. Courting is no longer subtle, and in this day and age, trying out someone new is a staple experience.

The major thing I hate about dating is the first date. First of all, a lot of dating now happens online. There are a countless amount of dating sites to meet everyone’s personal needs. There are sites for the hopeless romantic of a farmer. Don’t believe me? Look it up. Most of us won’t live that moment in your local coffee shop where you make eye contact with a perfect stranger or you accidentally touch the cute barista’s hand and they write their number on your receipt. Instead, we are left twiddling our fingers underneath the table, waiting to see if the person in question really matches their profile picture. Then they show up, and you’re either terrified or pleasantly surprised. If the person matches up picture wise, then you’re in the clear right? Not exactly.

With the arrival of the other party comes the pressure to act perfect. Think about it. When was the last date you actually acted like yourself? That’s right. I mean, pigging out, not having to watch what you say, being the geek you know you are. People use the first date to set a precedent for the future. We as humans are judgmental, so we’ll be tip-toeing on eggshells the entire time. They say something you don’t like, but you nod and agree to get in their good graces. You want to say a joke, but you’re not sure if it’s treading the waters, so you don’t. You watch what you eat. You say everything you can to impress them by elaborating the truth just a little. Where does that take you down the road when you’re on your third or fourth date? I’d like honesty way more than being spoon fed words that don’t really matter to the other person.

Most people aren’t very lucky to find “the one” in one go. That means multiple dates that can span for years. That’s a lot of moola, especially for men. Unfortunately, there’s this social stigma to have the guy pay for a date. Now some guys don’t care about this, and that’s cool. It’s an awesome way to be polite, but I don’t think it should matter. If we go by that standard, how do girls show their politeness? Showing up? Split the bill, or if the girl wants pay, let her. Still, it is a lot of money invested in many different people who may or may not even want a second date.

It’s also time consuming. I know it’s a little harsh to say that, but it’s true. I’m not talking about the meet ups that go well. A good date, whether or not it goes somewhere, is still a happy memory made, but not every first date is picture perfect. Sometimes you soldier on despite wanting to go back home to watch some Netflix and sip on a glass of $3 wine. It’s almost like being free of chains when the bill is brought to the table or when you feign having twisted your ankle roller skating.

As much as I hate the experience of a date, it’s inevitable, and my need for someone to love me is greater than wanting to avoid it. Until I strike lucky in the bottomless pit of Tinder, I’ll push forward in the great race for love.

Cover Image Credit: Michael Coghlan

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6 Places in New York City Every "Friends" Fan Needs to Visit

Grab a cup of coffee at Central Park.
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As a Friends fanatic myself, I often wonder about the places in New York City featured in the various episodes and whether I could actually visit them. Most of them are fictional or no longer exist, but there are a few places you can go to reminisce about your favorite Friends moments. So, here are 6 places in New York City you definitely need to visit as a Friends fan.

1. The Apartment Building, Obviously

The building used for the exterior shot of the apartments in Friends is real, and is located at 90 Bedford Street at the corner of Grove Street in Greenwich Village. It's an obvious must-see.

2. The Pullitzer Fountain

This is the fountain that the friends danced around in for the iconic theme song, and it's located right in Central Park.

3. Bloomingdale's

This is the department where Rachel worked before she moved on to Ralph Lauren, where she met Joshua, and where she started her career in fashion.

4. The Plaza Hotel

This is where Monica and Chandler celebrated their engagement in The One WIth Monica's Thunder, and is actually really gorgeous.

5. The Central Perk Replica

While Central Perk isn't a real coffee shop, a pop-up replica opened up in 2014 on Lafayette Street and it's definitely a must-visit.

6. Chandler's Office

The fictional Chandler works in the real Solow Building, located on West 57th street.

Cover Image Credit: Fame Focus

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The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

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Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

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