For the last 6 years I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my boobs. They surpassed what I considered a perfect size long ago and since then I felt like they’d become just another body part to manage. Big titted women out there, you know what I’m talking about don’t you? Bra shopping becomes the ultimate chore (plus the bras are ugly and more expensive than their smaller cupped equals), your clothes don’t fit right, you have to forget about wearing anything strapless, and you’re always self-conscious about the amount of (unavoidable) cleavage you show.

I was always caught in a mental battle between wanting to be confident and dress in ways that highlighted my natural wonders and feeling like a huge slut for showing off my boobs. I felt so inappropriate just wearing a regular triangle bikini top in front of people; like they would think I was throwing my body at them and asking for attention, when really I was just wearing a swimsuit and happened to have large breasts.

I was always looking for ways to make my boobs look smaller or making sure I never showed cleavage. I felt as if I had to hide my boobs. Here I was, blessed with breasts some women would pay thousands of dollars for, and I was ashamed of them. The alternative, being proud of them, would have made me a slut; so I imprisoned them in beige, unpadded, full-coverage cages.

It wasn’t until recently that I finally began to fully appreciate the boobs I have. Feeling sexy wasn’t a bad thing, and showing cleavage or wearing daring necklines didn’t devalue me as a woman. What was once my curse was now my blessing, and I learned how to work with my boobs instead of against them. I dressed in ways that were comfortable and stylish and if I happened to show some chest, well, that was fine with me. My boobs were making me look better and feel better because I was no longer ashamed and hiding them.

This change of style has sometimes resulted in objectifying comments or angry stares from other women, but I’ve accepted that I can’t change how people act or feel because their behavior is entirely up to them and not my responsibility.

No, this doesn’t make me a slut or an attention seeker. I don’t dress a certain way to purposefully elicit responses about my breasts. I don’t need anyone to validate my breasts and how great they are. I dress for me and if my bikini top or cleavage makes you uncomfortable, then the problem isn’t actually me.

So to anyone else out their struggling to accept their large boobs, it’s okay. There is nothing to be ashamed of, no reason to hide. Your boobs are not a handicap. Your boobs are beautiful and you deserve to dress the way you want, whether it’s modest or sexy or everywhere in between, just like everyone else.

Don’t be afraid to be proud of your body. Don’t be afraid to love your boobs!