A Love Letter To My Tonsils
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

A Love Letter To My Tonsils

Because who doesn't love a sore throat?

55
A Love Letter To My Tonsils
yoga-of-being-sick

Dear Tonsils,

I just wanted to take some time out of increasingly busy schedule to say thank you. Thank you for choosing the week that I start classes to make yourselves known. I mean, how could I ignore you when you're practically touching? It's not like I have to talk...or eat. No, I understand that you really do function best when you swell to the point of practically blocking my windpipe. Sure, I've also got asthma, but that's pretty inconsequential. Breathing is overrated anyway. Don't you think?

And of course, of course you make sure that my sinuses are all clogged and swollen. Who wouldn't want the subsequent headache that comes with that? It just so happens that this pounding, splitting headache you've caused is making this letter EXTRA fun to write. Combine that with ADD and my productivity levels have just skyrocketed!

I also want to thank you for making sure that I couldn't ever, ever, ever forget about you. It really is quite sweet that you really can't go much longer than a month without swelling up with love. I know you do this because you have this incessant need to show me how much you love me. And I also happen to know that your way of showing me how much you love me is by making my lymph nodes grow to the size of golf balls.

But, tonsils, it's time we were honest with each other and I have a confession to make. While it pains me to say this (literally), I think it's time we parted ways. While I know that our affair has been an intense and passionate one, it has to end. Every breath when I'm with you is agony and every time I touch my swollen neck, I want to cry. What we have is not healthy anymore. It's bloody and bruised and broken. And, quite honestly, some days I just want to rip you out of my life entirely. Not only that, I have another confession I need to make.

Tonsils, I've met someone else. They go by many names, but you might know them better as Antibiotics. I know I must be hurting you by saying this, but I feel as though I owe it to you to be honest. And when I'm with Antibiotics, all of my pain goes away. I feel like myself again when I'm with them. That was something I never had with you, even when we were at our best. That's got to be saying something, right?

So, with a heavy heart, I think it's best that we didn't see each other anymore. We haven't been compatible for a long time and frankly I think we're just too toxic together, now. And I think you know this too. So, my dear tonsils, this is my good bye. This is our goodbye. Again, I know this may come as a bit of a shock for you you and that this will be hard. But as I've said, I cannot stay with you any longer. All I ask now is that you respect my decision to end our relationship. If not? Well, let's just say that I've got a throat specialist on stand-by.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

51010
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

32652
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

955816
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

180822
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments