To my one true love,
Some say I am obsessed, some say I am too emotionally attached and some say that the way I look at you just isn't natural. To them, I say that they are just jealous of what we have together. I would go so far to say that you are my love, my go to, my "person" even, or rather... my favorite snack. Flamin' Hot Cheetos, it is about time I confess my love for you.
I hope I do not come off as too forward, but I have been holding it in for so long. You are the perfect crunchy snack that packs a punch no other snack can offer. It's sad that some people don't understand what there is to love about you: they say you are too spicy or too hot that they can't even taste your flavor. The truth is you are just too bold for their weak pallet--only the best of the best should be able to love you wholeheartedly.
I remember the first time I ate you as a snack; it was a day my life was changed forever. I was quite little, maybe five or six years old, and my sibling let me have some of their Flamin' Hot Cheetos (a lesson i will never learn... I mean really, who actually shares their Cheetos?). From that day forward, I can never get enough; you are like crack sometimes. Often times I only want to eat the recommended 21 Cheetos, but once the bag is opened i just can't stop eating.
There are so many different things I love about you, Flamin' Hot Cheetos. First and foremost, I love that you come in all shapes, sizes and flavors (even though we know that the original Flamin' Hots are the best). I love that you taste just as good dipped in nacho cheese as you do by yourself. And, I love that my fingers always have a little red tint by the finger tips because of you.
Flamin' Hot Cheetos, I hope you know that I don't have a love like this for many other snacks. While fruit is just fine and the occasional cookie won't hurt, there is nothing that can compare to my favorite snack. Sometimes I get stares from other people when I am enjoying my favorite snack in the library because they don't understand your crunchiness. Some of my friends don't like you because you bring too much heat--they are weak.
Flamin' Hot Cheetos, you have never left me in my times of need, like that one time I cried and ate an entire bag of you while watching Lexi and McDreamy after the plane crash (F U SHONDA RHIMES!). You have been there to celebrate with me during times of joy during graduation parties, birthday parties, fourth of july, christmas, the fact that I didn't kill anyone during school that week, celebrating because it's Tuesday, Hanukkah, etc. etc. etc. You have been there for me through my worst and my best, and for that I am forever grateful.
So, my love, I hope this letter proves to you that there is no other snack that I can love as much as you. You are bold, daring and delicious. You are not for the weak of heart, but that is what makes you even more likable. Flamin' Hot Cheetos, I love you dearly and at my wedding I just have to make sure that Cheetos dust doesn't get on my dress... and it it does ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
