As sophomore year approaches an abrupt foreclosure, I feel a ping of unforeseen melancholy. I feel such joy when I picture my roommates and I screaming karaoke on the kitchen counter in our underwear, watching the new members run towards us on bid day, seeing our little sisters get initiated and more.
While I'm so grateful for the people that this past school year brought into my life, and I will incessantly cherish the exceptional times we had together, I've decided I want to be sophomore forever, and quite frankly, I might have fallen head over heels in love with sophomore year. As I reminisce on this past year, I think we can all agree that we have gone incredible lengths and grown in ways I never imagined we could (thank God, right?) but who knew the journey would be so enchanting and exhilarating.
1. I learned more about myself this year then I ever have. Iced coffee is a glorious endeavor. I now like my eggs sunny side up. Hats with messy ponytails are way better than clean straight hair. (Wait no, I always knew that.) Being on your own only sucks if you choose to make it that way. It's better to be a disappointed optimist then a negative energy feeding pessimist. Feeling deeply and over thinking everything isn't always a curse, and Taylor Swift is still bae. Okay, so maybe that much hasn't changed…
2. If you have to vie for somebody's attention it isn't worth having. I always find myself giving people the benefit of the doubt, and making excuses for their indifference towards me, but this year I've realized how much better I am than that. It's not that they don't have time, it's that you aren't a priority. Pursue people who make you a priority, not an option.
3. The moment someone makes you feel like you are hard to love is the moment you need to walk away. This one pretty much speaks for itself, if someone can see your value, potential, and heart of gold stop bending over backwards to prove yourself. They probably suck anyway.
4. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you there's some things you regret, but you wouldn't be where you are right now if it wasn't for where you were before. Be thankful for the broken road that led you to the yellow brick one.
5. I have passions and it's not embarrassing or lame to show people them. I have a heart for children with special needs and I have an undeniable understanding and compassion for them. I can sing, write, and play the guitar, but I used to never tell anyone these things. Now not only do I show people how cool it is, but I know how cool it is.
6. To go for it. If you have something good to say, write it. If you know a way to help someone, do it. If you have a good idea, do something about it. If you want to be involved, try out, apply, or sign up. If you want to have a friend, you have to BE a friend. This year taught me not to hold back. If you want something, pursue it with everything you have.
7. How to be brave. I learned how to stick up for myself and the people I love. Other people won't always agree with you for standing up for what you believe in, but that's why they call it being brave. You care more about what is right than you do about what people think and that's commendable and honorable. I would much rather be thought of as crazy for calling people out than be seen as a passive person who lets people walk all over and disrespect them.
8. How not to settle. You and I do not deserve anything short of respect. This year I learned not to stop until I get it.
9. It is better to say “oh well" than “what if". Going out of your comfort zone is so worth it in the end. It's easy to get caught up in playing games, and act uninterested so that they seem more interested (it sounds counter productive and trust me it is) if I want to know what someone is up to or how they are doing just ask. People love a person who is straight forward and knows what they want. Granted, it doesn't always work out in but I'd much rather say oh well than driving myself crazy thinking about the what ifs.
10. Stumbling is a given, but it doesn't mean you are destined for failure. Parking tickets, failing a class, telling someone how you feel only to have it blow up in your face, introducing yourself someone new who completely writes you off, yeah it's embarrassing and disappointing, but whatever! At least it's something funny your Group-me can laugh at you for.
11. I have what it takes to be successful, I may have doubted my self at points along the way, but I did it. I made it through the all nighters, the occasional let downs, and the passive aggressive room mate fights that turn into a built up blow out that are made all better from “I'm sorrys", hugs and “forgive me's."
12. How to appreciate the little things. Whether it be about people, the beautiful day around you, or the moments you are sharing with the people you love, Sophomore year taught me to be in the moment. To take it all in. to feel everything and feel it deeply in the best way imaginable.
13. To love others and myself. This year I've decided I am mine before I am anyone elses. Instead of waiting for someone to appreciate my firey independence and wild passions, I've learned to appreciate it all by myself. I've learned how to love myself as much as I want someone else to. Work out at midnight if you feel like it, sit in the sauna, put a face mask on, eat a corn dog, light a candle, watch some good ol' naked Netflix by yourself. Let your sorority sister borrow your car to babysit and walk to class instead. I promise she will appreciate it more than your legs will loathe you for making them walk 2 miles to the BA.
14. Talk to your teachers, they want to help you. I always looked at them like they were these heartless, not compassionate people who were incapable of understanding anything other than school work, but if you talk to them and tell them you are struggling they will help you . They want you to succeed just as much as you want to succeed. (The good ones I mean, anyway.)
15. Avoiding confronation only makes it worse. Surprise! Bet you didn't see that one coming, but this one is my specialty. This goes for parking tickets, homework, phone calls and even the guy knocking at your apartment while you pretend like you aren't home-even though he obviously hears you playing Drake's new album. Trust me, just pay it, do it, confront it and answer it.
16. Give people a chance. Time has a funny way of showing you who is willing to drop everything to be there for you faster than you can text your group message “lol help". Those are the friends, more importantly sisters and future bridesmaids that are worth having, and the kind of friend worth being. Through all the heartache and disappoint you found your people this year, and that is something that should make you smile. There is nothing better than finding friends who accept you for who you are, shambles and all.
17. If what you're doing isn't working-try something different. Throw enough shit up on the wall and something is going to stick. It sounds dumb, but I swear it works. Some things might not work out and that's okay. Whether it was your lesson plan, the job you applied for and didn't get, your routine (or lack of) for your 8am that resulted in you forever being late, or that girl or guy that you dated and realized you had nothing in common with. College is all about learning and experimenting.
18. To appreciate my parents and the time I spend with them more than I ever have. Whether it be a Kenny Chesney concert with your dad, crushing pizza slices and Bud Lights together, your mom doing your laundry, putting new sheets on your bed, cleaning your room, getting your toes done together, or seeing that new Nicholas Sparks' movie together since she is just as much of a hopeless romantic as you are, any time spent with your parents is important. Your parents are irreplaceable and you do miss them at school more than you'd probably admit.
19. It's okay to be yourself, and in college it's actually cooler to be yourself. In high school you were a loser if you didn't wear the same Patagonia that every girl in your friend group had, play lacrosse like all your friends did, or do whatever everyone else was doing even if you didn't agree with it or even like it. College is cool because people tend to gravitate towards people that are real.
Take care of yourself, sophomore year. Thanks for being so unpredictable, full of excitement and adventure. I'm going to miss you. You were a hell of a time and I'll never forget you.
All my love,
