A Love Letter (To Myself)

A Love Letter (To Myself)

For those not so good days.
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I am capable of great things, of extraordinary passion and wholehearted commitment. I am smart, funny, warm and reliable. I am loved. These are things I know in my head and not in my heart. There are, I am sure, several reasons for that. But the one I address today is the life-long struggle of battling depression and generalized anxiety.

I went about 16 years without being diagnosed. I was sure I was defective, that it was my fault, that I needed to try harder and it would all go away. But it never did. I felt increasingly isolated and alone. My most intimate contacts still felt like strangers. The product of all this was ever decreasing self-esteem and a perpetual sense of personal failure. No matter what I accomplished, the steady fears and the looming cloud of emotional exhaustion that accompanied generalized anxiety and depression silenced any loving voice that tried to bring healing to the things that were fractured. I vowed then, as I still vow now, to practice self love. With discipline. So, I am sharing with you a love letter I wrote to myself. After all, how can you love others if you can’t love yourself? I encourage you to do the same. You are not your illness. You have intrinsic worth, and there are people who love you without condition, in the midst of both failures and success. Let yourself bathe in the love today. Don’t give those critical, cruel voices any room to make your mind their own. All these positive words apply to you, too. Please, remember… you are loved.

Cover Image Credit: Purpose Fairy

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Self-Love Is The Most Underrated Type Of Love, But It's Also The Most Important

You can only give with which you have.

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The notion of love may just be one of the most intricate concepts one could ever attempt to describe. How is it that a minuscule, four-letter word, is able to possess such a powerful influence in our world? Love can be purely romantic and thoroughly unconditional, existing between intimate relationships. It's that strange feeling one experiences in the pit of their stomach at the sight of someone special. It's the emotion that overcomes a mother as she finally holds her newborn child in her arms — in other words, love at first sight. Love is the foundation of reciprocated understanding, bond, respect, and appreciation.

There are people who are completely nonchalant on the whole love subject, perhaps because they've never fallen in love or never went through a serious heartbreak. Even though these are the two main thoughts that initially pop up in one's mind after hearing, "What is love?" I think of self-love. This underrated type of love doesn't cross the mind of many, and I'm not sure why.

Loving yourself has to do with understanding yourself, accepting all of your unique glows and flaws, and appreciating what you've grown to become.

It is about knowing your values and your boundaries as a person. It is about being kind to yourself and taking care of your mind, your body, and your spirit. There's nothing wrong with this type of love - in fact, it's the greatest love of all. It certainly doesn't make you conceited.

You should acknowledge the fact that you are worthy of love and, most critically, you already are loved. Self-love is the riddance of self-doubt when one knows that they are worth it and that they are always good enough. Having this set, one is able to develop a stable relationship with another individual, free of skepticism, free of insecurity, free of worries and overthinking, free of inner negativity.

These benefits justify the hidden truth that self-love is the absolute prerequisite to truly loving others. To give love to someone, you must first be able to have love in your heart and to have love, you must love yourself. Simply put, you can only give with which you have. If one is discontented with the way they are if one does not contain the bare minimum of love, what is there to give to someone else?

My initial definition of love, being that it is the foundation of mutual bond, understanding, and appreciation, still stands. It is inclusive of the infinite varieties of love that exists in the minds of our people - romantic and sexual love, family love, friendly love, love for our pets, love for our personal interests, and the most underestimated, yet essential love of all, self-love. I aspire to live in a time where human beings pay more mind to their true self, to grow and learn to have faith and pride in themselves, never resorting to putting themselves down to bring another up.

I want to see a world where people can comprehend that valuing yourself will enable you to be more genuinely loving towards others and provide you with a peace of mind that cannot be easily undermined by outside opinions.

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