Love. A small, four-letter word that each of us connects to unique memories. The word may bring back memories of past or present lovers, those memories also may be either negative or positive. Every individual's idea of love is different. In my opinion, love is not always easy, and if it was easy, would it really be worth it? I think not. One thing is for sure, love does not come with a handbook, guidelines, or any sort of rules. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that love is unpredictable and life is unpredictable in general. You never know when you might meet someone you will end up falling in love with.
As a person who loves her lists, organizers, and concrete plans, I struggle with the uncertainty love brings. I know I am not the only one that struggles with this, so this one is for all of you who feel the same way.
In any relationship, there are countless "what ifs" you could worry yourself about.
"What if he/she meets someone else?"
"What if he/she falls out of love with me?"
"What if he/she decides they do not want to be in a relationship?"
"What if it does not work out with him/her?"
I could go on and on with these negative "what ifs" and I am sure there are other people out there that could do the same. But, I have some advice for you. This type of thinking is only going to ruin your relationship. It may seem like common sense, but as humans we do not always think rationally, especially when it comes to love. When we let this type of thinking take over our minds, we begin to base all of our decisions off of what we do not know. Personally, when I am thinking rationally I find it silly to base relationship decisions off of what you and your partner DO NOT KNOW.
My advice is if you are with someone who makes you happy and you thoroughly enjoy their company, just be happy with them and stop worrying yourself. If you still obsess over the "what ifs" of love and life, like I sometimes do, I suggest you revise those "what ifs." Instead think of it this way:
"What if he/she NEVER meets someone they want more than you?
"What if he/she NEVER falls out of love with you?"
"What if he/she ALWAYS wants to be in a relationship with you?"
"What if it DOES work out with him/her?"
"What ifs" do not have to be negative. Do not automatically give the negative possibilities more weight than the positive ones. This type of thinking will only ruin a relationship. Do not let these negative "what ifs" ruin your happiness. It is possible all the issues you are worrying about will never happen.
The best thing to do is for you to transform the negative "what ifs" into something positive. Best of luck trying to navigate love's unpredictable nature!
Feminism Redefined
