Last week, I turned 26-years-old. As I reflected in the bliss of hundreds of Facebook messages, birthday cards, calls, and texts, all I could think about was everything I have learned while I've been here on this Earth. I'm not claiming to know it all - I know that I'm constantly learning new things. But I thought I'd impart a little wisdom that I've learned so far...
1. Life is too short to worry about a messy house
I am an organized freak. I hate having a messy house, it honestly drives me crazy. Having a 10-month-old has really changed that. There are some days where my husband and I are so exhausted that we just end up leaving toys on the floor before bed or dirty dishes in the sink. I always get to them, but not as quickly as I used to.
2. Say yes to new things
I am a very introverted individual. The only extroverted activity I participate in is theater. But the funny thing is, it took me so long to get involved with theater. I was always interested in it, but I was just too scared. I finally took a risk my sophomore year in high school, and I have never regretted it. Theater is how I met most of my best friends - and it's how I met my husband.
3. It's OK to say no
Everyone gets busy in life. We all know that one individual who puts so much on their plate that they don't have any time to take for a day off to relax. It's OK to say that you'll help other people - but it's also OK to say no every once in awhile!
4. If someone wants to teach you how to cook, let them!
When I was younger, my mom always wanted to try to teach me how to cook and bake. At the time, i was never interested, so she didn't push it. Now, as a 26-year-old woman with a family, I wish I had listened to her! I suck at cooking - I'm learning, but I wish I already knew it so that I could be cooking awesome meals for my two loves!
5. Just because someone leaves their physical body doesn't mean they aren't still with you.
I've lost several friends and family members. In February, I lost my grandfather. It was one of the hardest losses I have faced to date. He and I had so much in common, sharing our loves of writing, reading, and theater. When I got my birthday card from my grandma, I got to the bottom and read her name - and only her name. I immediately started crying. It was such a silly thing to cry about - a name missing on a card. On my way to school the next day, I felt this overwhelming sense of someone with me. I felt a legitimate hug. Think what you will, but I know it was him.
6. Broken hearts can mend.
Whether it's a high school romance gone wrong or a 20+ year marriage that ends, hearts can mend. I know it's cliche, but time does mend all.
7. True love will always find a way.
Even when you make mistakes. Even when you fight. Even when you want to drive off for awhile. True love prevails.
8. Try, try, try again.
Even when you feel like you don't have any more in you, try it again. It took at least 6 interviews at schools before I found my first teaching job. My first play wasn't accepted for a contest. But I still write. The pain of failure will dissipate - but giving up will last forever!
9. Be yourself.
Life is way too short to be miserable being someone you think others will approve of. Be happy. DO. YOU.
10. Never stop learning
I love that I get to be a teacher because I am CONSTANTLY learning new things. Sometimes I take a class for graduate credit, sometimes a co-worker teaches me a new trick, but my favorite is when I learn new things from my students.
11. Communication is key
Even introverts like me have to be able to communicate with others. If I don't tell my husband that I'm irritated with him, how can he help fix it? If I don't talk to my parents, I don't know what's going on at home. Talking a good thing.
12. You never know who's listening
This is especially relevant for me now that I have a daughter. I have to watch my mouth so that she doesn't repeat bad words. We all have to speak respectfully because if you bad mouth someone openly in public, they may have friends who hear and tell them. As a general rule - silence is golden when it comes to gossip.
13. Brutal honesty hurts less than lying
I suppose this may be personal preference - but in my experience, it always pays off to be honest with someone instead of lying to them. The honesty may hurt in the moment, but they'll thank you for it eventually. Or at least learn from it.
14. Give back to your community
Whether it's volunteering your time to walk dogs at a local shelter, tutoring students in need of some extra help, donating to your church, or even acting in a local community theater, it makes a big difference for others.
15. You make a difference in the lives of others, even when you don't know it
Every year, I have my freshmen students write a journal entry about a personal hero. I usually get entries about parents, siblings, pro-athletes, or comic book heroes, but for the first time ever, a student wrote about me. I never would have thought I had impacted her that much - but I guess I did. (Cue tears...)
16. Always know your audience
Sometimes, it's OK to swear. Sometimes, there are children present. Knowing your surroundings and understanding the people around you will really help you communicate with them.
17. Surround yourself with positive people
This, sadly, is one of the newer lessons I've learned. If you want to be an optimistic person, you absolutely have to surround yourself with positive energy. Most of my life has been spent as a pessimist. It wasn't until I realized that I was surrounding myself with negativity that I could stop and fix the problem.
18. Always resolve conflicts
You never know what life holds. You may get into a disagreement with someone and not have the time to resolve it before it's too late. Resolve it while you can!
19. It's OK to admit you don't know something
We all love to be right. I learned that from my mom (just kidding, I love you!) But it's OK to say that you have to check on something before you give an answer.
20. Live in the moment
It's always fun to see pictures from friend's trips or watch their child's growth, but sometimes it's OK to live in the moment. If you're always behind the lens, you're missing part of what's happening right now. So document some things, and let others go so that you can fully live that moment right then.
21. It's never too late to follow your dreams
Think of how many famous people out there didn't get famous until they were much older. Go research it - there are SO many. It is NEVER too late to start following your true dream. So no matter where you are in life, take a chance.
22. No dream is too big
Once you realize that it's not too late to follow your dreams, don't limit yourself! Shoot for the stars! Failure is just a sign of trying - you don't have to limit yourself.
23. Don't let life get you down
This comes with surrounding yourself with positive vibes. Everyone is handed a bag of lemons at least once in life, but we can all come out with that pitcher of lemonade.
24. Live with no regrets
I don't mean that you should go out and do stupid things because you won't regret it later. I mean that you don't have to apologize for living your life, being yourself, and following your dreams. Life's way too short for that.
25. Let go of the past
The past is already done. Does it leave you hurting sometimes? Of course. But you can either realize that you've been taught a lesson and take it with you or continue to live with the pain.
26. Be silly and dance. Regardless of who is watching
Another lesson I owe to my daughter. I dance around with her all the time now, even in the store. In the past, I never would have done that as I would have been embarrassed. Now? I do it on the daily. And I love it because it makes her smile.
Some of these lessons are timeless - I'm sure you've heard many of them before. But I think it's important to know that people actually do experience these lessons and want others to benefit from that knowledge, and that's my birthday gift to you.