Love is certainly a feeling. The western view of love dictates finding that one true soulmate and riding off into the sunset on some white horse. This is what is shown all over the media and ingrained in children while they're still young and impressionable. Stereotypically, we’ll all meet that special someone, end up in a heterosexual relationship and be in love until one of us dies. However, for many, love is a choice and not just a feeling.

Although a feeling may be the beginning or the first few years of a relationship, I question whether it could last the next 40 years. An article in the Huffington Post, John McElhenney discusses his divorce and the events he feels led up to it.

Love as an emotion is just that. Feelings come and go so, at least for people you’re planning on being seriously involved with long term, it’s most important to pick someone you can develop with and who will be a strong life partner. Looking back on my previous relationship, I’d have to say I agree. We were together for about four years and after a while I certainly fell out of love. He’s always been a great friend. However, those romantic feelings had gone and I lost my urge to put effort into the relationship.

But that’s just the problem. When the feeling has gone, each person in the relationship needs to make the choice to work on being the best partner they can. This is especially true when the people in this relationship are married. That’s a huge commitment to make in the first place. Why throw it away because you don’t feel exactly the same? This is where it’s important to pick life partners who give you a solid foundation of needs, wants, companionship and other things you feel are vital to your overall happiness.

Regardless of all of this, people grow and change all the time. Some relationships just don’t make it through. McElhenney says that he and his wife began to make plans for something other than "us” after struggling emotionally and financially.

One of the strongest points McElhenney makes is that he and his ex-wife began looking outside of their marriage for support. However, because we’ve established that one needs to work on relationships for them to work, this means that the person needs to be an active participant. You can’t just completely ignore your friends for a week and expect them to just be there when you’re ready to make plans. You make the effort based on what your friends or partners want in order to show that you care and you want the best for them. You give everything you can.