There’s no denying that, unfortunately, in today’s world, most forms of emotional struggle are seen as a weakness - a weakness within ourselves, and a weakness within our communities. Yet, at the same time, we seem to be drawn to the people who are “broken”: the people who are emotionally shattered, emotionally fragile, and emotionally defeated.

We love the broken ones because, initially, they represent us: a race that is vulnerable to chaos and vulnerable to fracture. The broken ones are relatable, sometimes to our past selves. They are a chance for us to be the ones we wish we were for ourselves. Or, they’re relatable in the sense that they may even remind us of our current selves - or of the people surrounding us.

The truth is, when we place ourselves in the state of loving or caring for someone who is in a shattered state, we feel better about ourselves. This does not come from a place of egocentrism or selfishness; rather, it’s a natural consequence of being in the role of a caregiver. The effect comes from the fact that we are now part of the reason for someone’s improving state. It feeds into our (mostly harmless) inner helper, which is the part of us that drives us towards being the one who consoles the ones who are shattered.

The thing is, when someone’s dependence and vulnerability is entrusted onto us, we feel special; we feel empowered. In a way, it proves to us that we are capable of “fixing” them. (Side note: When I say “fixing”, I mean it in the sense that we are helping them along their journey of healing. There is absolutely nothing shameful or wrong with being broken.) It shows us that we are not worthless or incapable of helping others. It proves to us that when we are handed someone helpless, we have the tools necessary to get them back on their feet.

Of course, there is a subtle danger laced within our desire and attraction of loving the broken ones. There is an off chance that we may start to seek out the ones who need us solely for our personal gain, as a way to prove our self-worth to ourselves. This is why we should be cautious, and why we should always be aware of our motives when we are dealing with the ones who are emotionally torn.

We need to remember that our loving and caring towards them is for them and that we should still let them go at some point so that they may do their own healing for their own strength. After all, we will continue to love the broken ones, but we also shouldn’t forget to nurture them into loving themselves as well.